Our Love ; 31o7o6

If life can be rewound, i wouldn't get close to you.

2012-03-09T23:21:00.004+08:00

I'm so tired of pretending. Putting on a strong front everywhere i go,

smile, laugh like nothing's ever happened.

It's damn difficult, swear. I could never have made it. This far.

The thing is, i have to hold on there. It was a blessing in disguise.

After all, at least i'm seeking treatment now. Everything is on the right tracks.

Yet, at the same time, everything is in wrecks.

Couldn't feel anything anymore. Just feel emotionless.

Nothing ever made me happy anymore. Shouldn't be sinking into depression.

But i did. However this time, it's even worse than depression and i doubt

I can ever overcome it. PTSD, four simple letters to be written. But yet,

it's so difficult to erase it from me. Perhaps the only way to forget everything,

is to get into an accident, wake up, forget part of my memory.

School has been mundane. Working hard, slog like a dog for something

i wished for, and i know it's not gonna happen. I just feel like a machine,

customised just for the exams. I'll just go on and on, and hopefully i'll just reach

my goals, realise my dreams. Anyway, i don't feel anything anymore.

Maybe it's better, as i don't even feel pain. Not anymore.

Don't allow myself to.

Never wondered i could be hurt so badly. To a point where standing up hurts so much

that i just wanna lay down there forever. And rot. And decompose.

What's the point of getting like 29/30 for English essay?

i don't even know where i can go.

Despite all the shit that i am getting from people ard me**, i am still glad that i have

people who are so ever ready to support me, to stand by me.

Every help, every aid that i receive, i will rmb it forever. And with every assistance i get

from others and not even him, i will hate him a tad more. As if i don't him already! Ha!

Got back my results for term 1 and i'm still like getting 9pts LOL. I'll just continue

to adjust myself, push myself, until i can really score, until i truly become

a machine. It doesn't matter anyway, does it?

My heart's been broken to the extent it can't function anymore.

Call me heartless but i will never go back to the past anymore.

Life's great without you, you, and you.

But then again, it feels wonderful to have a BFF there to support you.

Loving someone has never been so easy. Loving my BFF is even easier.

She needs no reason for me to love her. She's there, my happy pie in school.

I don't have to be strong in front of her. She understands me, and i do, too.

Love you, doph x3

Ending abruptly. Feeling numb again.

Psychologist on tues. Hope it all goes well.

P/s: Thanks for landing me in this predicament. Wouldn't have realised

how great life would be, at the same time, seek treatment early.

Thanks so much.

Stronger.

2012-01-26T01:22:00.001+08:00

Everything is not in order right now. Hectic. Yet I still managed to live my life as per ...not so normal. Been dealing with and controlling my emotions a lot. A lot more than I imagined. It's harder now to keep em in order. I thought I was going crazy. Well, truth is I had gone crazy. Perhaps all I needed was time to heal. At least it's discovered earlier.

Continue hurting me. Because what doesn't kill me will make me stronger. Baby humpty has been by my side all along. Now, he's even more willing to support me, stand by me on this road of recovery. I have to recover someday. I hope. It doesn't matter how I feel now because I don't feel a thing. I don't even care. Like months or even years back I lost my 70% of my sanity somewhere in the past. Now, I'm only left with perhaps 1%. Makes no difference to me. At least I'm happier now that things are like this. At least I won't be caught in the middle anymore. Great.

Insomnia. Same shit.

Just a simple update.

Goodbye 2011, hello 2012

2011-12-31T02:34:00.001+08:00

Yay! It's coming to the end of 2011 already!

So I got back to sg on the 15th dec. My days at KL were not bad. First time I allowed myself to splurge so much. Well, at least I feel happy, satisfied and contented that I am doing something for mom. Bring her out etc. Shopped quite abit. The sad thing was that things didn't go as planned. Oh well. No choice I guess. Sigh. I felt really bad that the trip that I planned turned out so bad. :( anyway, reached sg at night.

Immediately checked fb and twitter to see if there's any news when the n level results would be released. So it will be released on the 19th, Monday, 2 pm. The next 3 days were spent like years man. I moped around the house waiting for time to pass.

Finally on the day, I went to school with candy cuzzie. Was super nervous. Had to listen to the principal talk abit (actually is alot). I totally didn't listen to what she was saying man. Mom showed up afterwards, just before I took my result slip. My hand was trembling like idk what when tearing the form N which showed us what ite courses I am eligible for.

When the result slip was placed in front of my eyes I couldn't believe it. Mom and candy was busy calculating. Lukman was like explaining the details or whatever I couldn't process. My brain stopped there. Not functioning. The only thing I knew was that I needed to leave the hall soon. Just leave. So when Lukman sounded like he finished talking I packed everything together and walked outta hall without looking back, and outta school. Well, it was raining. I only brought an umbrella. Good. I didn't need any excuse now. I continued walking under the drizzling rain while candy and mom were safely shielded by an umbrella. Before I knew it my tears had already overflowed my eyes. K, I know it's exaggerating. But the fact is that I worked too hard, too much to be getting the results I got. I know it's good enough. But the thing is that the hard work i put in is not justifiable ! Super disappointed with myself. Thought at least I could get a 6 or an 8. Yet I ended up with a 9. I was so upset that I didn't apply for sec 5 immediately. I only managed to apply 2 days later which is a day before the bridging course. During that period, I flipped and flipped the booklet for ite to see if any courses caught my eye. But sadly, no. So sec 5 is a must for me. I have to do it man. No more screwing up next year.
Emailed mrs chua-lim yen Ching,The principal who helped me to get into Mpss to express my gratitude. And she remembers me. Haha. And I'm wondering if I should email that evil teacher frm my previous school anot man. But better not have anything to do with her. *bless* hate her. Zzz.

Went back to work the next morning. Manager elvin asked me to come back to work under Yamato and offered me a pay of $8/hr. Super excited and happy! Haha. Anyway system was changed and had a hard time adjusting to it man. But still manageable la! Perhaps when school reopens I'll work on Saturday or Sunday :) yup that's the plan. Need to start saving up for lic, house and business. It's a big sum of money so I gotta be determined.

School is officially starting on 3rd Jan which is a few days time. I realized that I only have a few days to enjoy before starting to chiong again. Hais.

*ps: moe sent me a letter of edusave scholarship that I'm supposed to receive on 2 Jan. So happy that I made it to the top 10% afterall, my hard work still pays right?! Feel so satisfied!

K, till then :)

Hello December!! [delayed]

2011-12-01T20:25:00.001+08:00

It's finally December. For the whole month I've been working like a mad. Got myself a job at Yamato transport, a Japanese MNC. It kinda feels good to work with Japanese people. But then again, they are so serious, so hardworking that you can only be awed. They know no fatigue. Working as a CSO, it really gives me the opportunity to learn. When I first stepped into the company, I don't even know a shit. I don't even have the slightest clue on what to expect. It's been more than a month now, and I can say colleagues are really nice to me. Although there are some people who do not play by the rules and bend the rules, but it's okay, cos we got that covered. They say, every office has its own politics. I never really understood it, until I stepped into this. To me, as long as I did my part and do no wrong, everything else is secondary. I kept having the chance to OT. And well, OT pays me 1.5-2x of my standard pay. Which meant that per OT hr I earn more than $10.

Being screamed by customers is a norm. Encountering unreasonable, demanding customers is an everyday thing. But every this kinda customer give me a chance to learn. I can say that my communication skills level up already. Sometimes we get screamed at even though we are not at fault. And the branch who is at fault refused to take up responsibility. And we get screamed again. What to do? Thus is our job.
It just taught me to put my pride down and to treat my job, my customers well. Empathy. Yes. Oh ya my contract ending on the 9th. 10th going to Malaysia. And managers want me to come back n extend. Mwahaha.

Everyday facing different kind of stress. Stress from family, stress for money and stress because of time. Sigh. Shall not mention here. I mean I'm the eldest in the family but that does not mean im a robot. Neither does it mean that I have to see through everything. I'm only 18. Still schooling. There are somethings you cannot depend on me entirely. I mean even if I do help, you also must wait until I have time right?

Sigh. Feel so burdened at times. But what to do. This is my life. And I believe I have to live with it.

Even though my life feels so wrecked at times, I still have some kind of fun ok! Did I mention that I watched breaking dawn with nut, candy, monkey and baby. And I get to see my jacob!! Taylor lautner !!!! Ahhh why so shuai. Why can't you get over Bella! Love me instead aha! :x k I'm going crazy soon I swear. And the fact that breaking dawn 2 will be out next yr perhaps dec, is a major disappointment tsk.

And next week! Going KL! Finally the long awaited trip. This time brought along mom and gugu. Me n bro paid for Gu trip. While candy gave her money for her expenses. Haha. We love her too much!

Day by day I feel that I'm learning new things. It actually made me have this kinda satisfaction that I'm living my life to the fullest. I'm learning how to let go, put down certain things in life. And think about it frm another angle. Afterall, life is always unfair. Yeah. As long as I work hard, put in the effort, I'm sure I can do it :D

Getting back our n levels results soon. Not sure of the exact date but yeah still nervous. Even though I know what I'll do but still afraid. I think moe knows of our results already right? Because I received notification for the scholarship again. Sigh whatever. It doesn't matter now. Not before I get my results.

K bye. Needa sleep.

Three more weeks.

2011-09-13T15:13:00.001+08:00

Time flies. ^^
I sat for the N levels SS, Eng and Chinese paper during the June holidays. These subjects were supposed to be easy for me, but I had a hard time revising. I guessed I was too nervous. I wanted everything to be perfect.
I wanted to be very confident and in a perfect condition. For ss, I studied alot of essays and spent alot of time on it. And well, the questions that came out were expected. The SBQ was kinda easy except the comparison question. I always died there. Sigh. Never mind, I can still rely on my geog to attain that A.

MT has always been easy for me. So I didn't have to revise so much. Armed with an e-dict borrowed frm didi girlf, I went into the exam hall brimming with confidence. And well I left with satisfaction.

English paper 1 was kinda tricky. I couldn't unleash my potential in describing feelings. The whole essay was sort of neutral and doesnt have strong feelings. But I remembered to add in similes, metaphors, complex sentences and used some vocabulary too. It shouldn't be a problem. Paper 2 was easy. Much easier than I expected it to be.

Now. Three more weeks to the n levels for geog, chem, physics and maths. And that's it. I'll have my long break. Must persevere and run for the last lap! Jia you! Must pass with flying colors!

See that baby over there? My little cutie pie briley. He's so cute and never fail to make my day even on days when he's cranky. He's the emotional support of mine. Guess no one will ever know how I actually feel deep inside towards him. Though he is only 6-7 months old, he is always up to something mischievous! Like boo-ing all the porridge out of his mouth when feeding him. He likes to be happy. Always smile brightly when I said hi to him enthusiastically. Loves to jump jump when people are carrying him. Although he's a handful at times, he can be such a bundle of joy that I dont wanna go home! Haha. Every weekend, upon seeing him, all my troubles will be gone. It's like magic! Heh. Hopes baby briley grows up happily and well :)

Somethings are not within our control. As much as we want something back from the past, we will never get it. Nobody knows how I feel deep inside because I find it a hassle to explain. I'm starting to bottle everything up. Maybe one day, just one day, I'll just break down and every problem will cease to exist.

I don't understand myself already. I mean, I know what I want to achieve but I don't know how I feel. I feel like a stranger to myself whenever I have such thoughts. It's like I shouldn't be feeling this way yet I am. Why is this happening? I hate myself for being such a contradict. The inner part of me is battling each other. My brains told me I shouldn't feel this way, yet my heart can't do anything, but feel this way. It's the dilemma that's killing me. I feel like a freak for feeling things I shouldn't. I don't want to harbor evil thoughts but I just did. I'm losing myself somewhere already. It's kinda unexplainable feeling. First, you blame others. And then YOU blame yourself for thinking this way. Why must I be subjected to these emotional guilt and torture myself. Trying as hard not to think. But guess life doesn't come with an on and off button. Neither do my brains. :(

Baby humpty is always there for me. I know. But there are some places in my heart he will never reach. I don't know why. Perhaps it's just that I choose to suffer alone. Like three years back. Very relieved that we are togt for 5 years and our relationship is so stable. Simple, boring, you might say. But to us simplicity is beauty. Those who thought we couldn't make it, well we made it to the 5th year.

*I'm not as childish as you. -.-

Have much much more important things and people to care for! Tata! X3

P/s: We miss Junior. X3

2011-08-20T03:21:00.002+08:00

18 August 2011 was the official release of O level MT results.

So on wed, the previous night, i tossed and turned, just can't sleep.

Finally when i slept at 3am, just to wake up feeling extra nervous,

cos i've got not enough sleep. zzz.

To sum things up, i was super nervous.

I don't want to retake MT next year. It's like a

do-or-die mission. I cannot afford to fail.

AND i know i won't be satisfied with anything other than A2.

I know i can get A1, so why must i accept A2?

That, was the reason why i was so nervous.

I didn't think i did well for oral.

Well, waited anxiously until 2.30 and went to the hall.

Felt so extra cos i'm the only Sec 4NA there. The rest didn't appear -.-

Well to cut things short, our names were being flashed on the screen,

and i freaking got A1 ! So tyco. :X Was really happy and relieved.

Next year, i'll be focusing on only 4 subs which will make my

life a whole lot easier! :D

Thanks Jeremy for being there with me, encouraging me when i was

so nervous. :D

Also, I will like to thank my primary school teacher Ms Anna Lim Ling Ling

for building up a solid foundation for my MT. Although she has since left the school,

i will always remember her :D

And to Ms He Fei. Although she's annoying and kept repeating the same thing,

but without her i couldn't have done it :D

ANDDDDDD TO MY MOM FOR HER MOST UNWAVERING SUPPORT when it comes

to decision making and stress management!

2011-08-09T00:07:00.002+08:00

So... HAPPY 46th BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!

Though i'm only here for a mere 18 years but

i still love you because of the security and stability!

Another year had passed.

Not for once i forgot what happened.

Everything.

Well, actually, i'm very easily contented.

I'm very happy with my life right now.

We just celebrated our 5th year together in July.

I have a very supportive and caring mother.

I have some caring friends whom i know will be there.

I have some caring teachers who will coach me with patience.

Well, as for the rest, they're either insignificant to me,

or there's a reason why they don't make it to my future.

Actually, i realised that i'm not the lil girl anymore,

who trusts everyone, who treats everyone well.

Now, i begin to understand that reality is indeed cruel.

You're successful, everyone suck up to you,

many "friends" begin to flutter around your side.

When you failed, no one is in sight. What is left is only

humiliation and rejection.

I don't need anyone to tell me this. I've clearly seen that from society.

So.. don't have to act like you really care in front of me. It's like lying to

someone who already knows the truth.

SO WHAT? If I didn't give a damn to you in the past,

what makes you think that i'd care about what you think NOW, right?

Simple. Think of whatever you wanna think of me.

Only losers like you have the time to gossip.

I may be busy studying now.

But i'll overtake you in the future :)

I will not let myself stop here. Just watch me.

I will succeed.

2011-08-08T23:47:00.003+08:00

HEYYYOOOO.

Been long since i last updated. Like two months?

Busy preparing for exams. Got not much to keep this

dead space alive.

School has been fine all this while. Have to really work hard for N's.

Regrets. Yeah. Who don't have regrets?

Somewhere, sometime on our life we regret why we did this rather than that.

Why did I decide to do it?

Why didn't i do something about it?

Why did i just stand there and watch?

Why can't i be in better control of my future?

Sometimes, things just cannot be overturned.

Time is lost. Yet it's not the most valuable thing to me.

I went back to school.

Yes, i'm happy.

But how many things actually have a 2nd try?

Life is not a game.

Game over,

doesn't definitely mean that there's a restart/play again button.

And it doesn't have rehearsals too.

Maybe many decisions i made in the past may have affected me now.

Maybe it'll be better if i did that?

Guess i'll never know the answer.

Friends close to me will know.

Told myself that it's of no use regretting. It's of no use

thinking anymore. I can't turn back the hands of time.

Told myself that i must work harder. I must live my life

to the fullest. Yes, indeed. These three years, i'm living my life

to the fullest.

I don't know how i should react. I don't know what to feel.

It just feels like seeing the doctor sew up your wound,

you know, you can still talk, but you just don't know how to feel,

or react to it. So you just lay still.

I tried to act normal, i tried to be my usual self but

it doesn't work this way.

The more i try, the more abnormal i will be.

So tell me, what should i do? I really don't feel a thing.

Just ... weird. Like a part of me that has never lived before, died.

Like i'm not in love, but feel loved.

Like i've never fell, but bruised my knees.

Will i actually be happier if i follow what is already in place for me?

Will it make a difference three years back or few years later ?

Sigh.

Penang trip! 7th-9thJune2011!

2011-06-10T23:24:00.001+08:00

Hello! 6thJune met others at golden mile complex! And then boarded the bus. Slept and rested on the bus. I didn't sleep really well because the bus is really shaky.

Reached Penang bus terminal at around 6am. Was lost. According to benson, there is a bus stop around there and we could take a bus to the hotel, since it's still early! But, the bus stop doesn't have any boards showing the services and the route that the bus takes. Ended up taking a cab back to hotel-paradise sandy beach resort at tanjung bungah.

Had prata as breakfast at 9am. Went back hotel and waited until 11am to register. The boys asked the staff there for places of interest while we girls look into brochures, pamphlets etc.
After that took a bus to nearby shopping malls island plaza and gurney plaza.first time taking a public bus in another country. Shiok. I feel so accomplished. Island plaza is empty. Literally. Settled our lunch at gurney plaza and shopped till 4pm plus. Cab back to hotel as we were feeling sweaty.

Finally got our rooms 2502 & 2504 and went back to bathe. Room was very spacious. A bar table, balcony with seaview and a bathtub! Rested awhile and went next door to meet Ben and celes. Walked to the nearby night market and shopped.

Bought a shirt for mom and myself. And me and baby bought slippers too. He bought "twitter" while I bought "Facebook"! Same as celes!!! :)

So now i know baby is good at bargaining! Nothing much to eat there. So went back to prata shop and ordered murtabak back to hotel. So the four of us sat in our room's balcony and had our supper! Cute isn't it?! Haha.

After eating, played 21 and the rules is that the person who has the least points or have the MOST points have to take a picture with any action that the winners instruct. Haha! So from facebook you can see we had so much fun! :D well, slept at around 2am.

2nd day:
Woke up at 8.45am. Were gonna be late for breakfast and I immediately woke the rest up. Went down for buffet and I had Scrambled eggs!!! Yay! Nice breakfast! And then went to the beach to look at the activities. Wow.
The activities there consists of parasailing,(you will be on a parachute attached to a boat), viper(you sit on a float like a sofa and the boat Tokyo drift and you'll be against the waves!), banana boat(a group game where all of you sit on a float shaped like a banana, same like viper, a boat you're attached to will Tokyo drift.), and jet ski, also known as water scooter.

There's also coastal fishing! We went back to our rooms to discuss and decide that we should go coastal fishing first since it's drizzling and the boat provides shelter. Four hours, four of us, RM 250. Worth it.
So out the sea we went! Starting a lil scary. But after that used to it alre. Started fishing. Baby humpty caught a mini jellyfish! Haha!
Me? I either catch a coral, or stones :( hais. So we went back. On the way, stopped at monkey beach to see monkeys. Stayed for a short while as there's alot of ant's hole(?) ewww. Then the tour guide brought us to kelong to see the giant groupa weighing 25kg plus! But, we were more interested in the dogs and puppies. Haha! The planks at the kelong really unstable. Have to be really careful. The guide said that the dogs swam from island to island. Wow. Clever dogs. No wonder their fur are still wet.

Reached the shore and went ahead for jet ski. Baby started the ski with me behind him, while Ben with celes. RM 60 for 1-3 persons for 20mins. Vroom! So we started ridin' de waves! A lil scary cos the motor will tilt upwards. I scared will drop into the water. Cos got alot jelly fish!!!! Ewww. Ended the ride and went back hotel to bathe.

Met the other two at 8, cab to batu ferringi night market. Ate at a coffee shop and drank green apple juice for the first time! Yummy! Anyway nothing much to buy there. So walked awhile, bought wallet for didi, and went for massage.

The boss spoke to us in Cantonese. Luckily I can udstnd. Haha! Then I told him in canto that I can udstnd but can't speak. So he spoke to us in english. RM 60 for body massage, body scrub and foot massage 1hr total. Shiok. The funniest part is when benson squeals as he's afraid of itch. Haha. Damn funny when the guy who massaged his foot tell us his weakness! Hahahahaha!!

1am plus, cab home. Baby and celes drank. So we slacked until 3am and went to bed.

3rd day, woke up at 9am. Went for breakfast and rested till 1pm. Checked out. Took a cab to Georgetown. Shopped at first avenue and prangin mall. Had sushi king for lunch. No good! :( very ex. Slacked awhile and cab to airport. Ben's lighter gun was confiscated, as well as celes's scissors. Sigh. So boarded the plane. Sat with baby. He sat window seat. He's excited as it's his first time taking a flight. Haha. So watched pre loaded shows on the plane. Reached Singapore in an hr time and went to t2 for Mac! After that home sweet home!! :D yay!

After this trip, I think that it has made me become a better person. I have to speak up and dare to ask around for directions. I've to be very daring to try new things and food. I've to trust baby that we wont be lost. It's an enriching experience. Haha. This made me look forward to the next trip end of this year. I'm addicted to this feeling of exploring and overcoming challenges!

Life's a bitch ...

2011-04-10T22:54:00.002+08:00

Well, i'm already officially 18 now!

That means ... i've reached the legal age to smoke, drink and club!

Yeah man. Freedom.

But yet the irony is that i'm still a student. :(

Anyway, school's been fine.

Been coping well.

Sucks to know that time flies, and in 3 weeks time, i'll be facing my mid-yr exams, and in like 5 months time, n levels. Shucks. I've really got no time to lose!

Sometimes i feel like breaking down. The stress is too much for me to handle.

I know that i'll go sec 5. But i don't just want to go sec5. I wanna pass really really well.

I wanna challenge myself, and make sure i surpass myself.

I'm really proud for BabyHumpty x3.

He worked damn hard.

He done his project alone, when his group members ousted him.

He completed the project with a distinction within a month when the duration of the project is

like, a few months?

Of course with my help la! haha. Nevertheless, the worst is over, and he's in poly now. School will

be starting for him and orientation is tomorrow.

Few years back, he's still the playful and rebellious boy who never wanted to study.

Few years back, he's still the boy who always made trouble in school,

smoked in school, played truant, fights etc.

Few years back, no one would have thought he would made it this far.

& few years back, no one would have thought we would make it this far, together.

No one would have thought, yeah. Kinda happy for him.

But upset because the poly he was admitted to wasn't the best choice for him altho it's his choice.

Sigh. Friendship. Why must it be called "ship" ? Cos it'll sink?

Mine sank. I don't know what.

I'm on the bend when friendship turns to hate. But rest assured, i've come this far,

i won't let anything stop me from attaining my goals.

Last friday, went to Chinese writing competition. Chances of winning are slim. Why?

Cos of foreign talents.

It's realistic and school is making me understand how realistic it is. In the society, foreign talents are fighting with us for jobs, and in school, they're taking the first few places.

3/4 of the no of ppl who took part are from China. Even our school. 3 of them are from china, only i'm local. Makes me feel that i'm just one to fulfill the no. of people req to attend. =.=

AND. Make me hate the school more. Teacher said take taxi go to NCHS, but then she didnt mention how are we going to be back. So naturally i thought is by taxi too.

BUT then we were told to take public transport back alone. Is this responsibility?

From sengkang, by the time i reached home and bathed, i'm late for my tuition. OH great.

Holy responsibility. Pissed me even more.

What's more, wait until the competition over already then say. If i'd known that it's this situation, i wouldn't have attended, trust me. Waste my time eh. I'm betting that most of the winners are from China. *winks* Well, i'm just not good enough. :(

I wished I'd never grown up. let me stay this way please.

2011-03-13T20:39:00.001+08:00

I am one who values ties and relationships very much. I've realized that in this society, the rich gets richer and the poor gets poorer. Even blood related brothers also. I don't understand how! Why do you have the heart to exploit him? We may be poor, my dad may be uneducated, but he's making an honest living! He's doing all that he can to help! He values the relationship! Yet?
Don't think that because I need to study thus he need the job, so that's why you're making use of him. No. You're wrong. I'd rather have the backbone to see myself through studies than him to be humiliated by you.

And that makes my determination to do very well and get my ass in poly stronger. I'll prove that I can do it.

It really makes my heart cold upon thinking that adults are so unreliable. Why can't they just be honest?! Why are their hearts so complicated and bad? Why are they full of conspiracies? I really don't know. And I know I won't get the answer. Teachers n mom always taught us to respect our elders. But what if the elders deserve no respect?! By respecting them I feel that I myself also mastered hypocrisy. Fuck. Why adults can't be real?! Why are they so fake?! How to respect them when what they're doing is teaching us bad values?! Yes, I know that the world is realistic! But never did I imagined that it's this realistic!

You were never there when dad was admitted into hospital. You never cared. But my dad cared for you! Why take people's kindness for granted? Why can't you reciprocate for being true to him?! Why why why!!

I feel so cold hearted now! It's like I can't do anything but to depend on myself. My anger my stress, there's no outlet! I feel like crying out! I've totally no mood now damn.

Conclusion: adults are totally unreliable and not trustworthy at all.
I'll never trust them anymore.
They don't practise what they preach and they say this, and flip the story after that.

I'm gonna work and study. I don't care if I'm tired if my dad don't get humiliated or bullied by you again! Don't think you can bully us just because we are poor or inferior. Fuck.

2011-01-07T13:28:00.004+08:00

Hello 2011. Goodbye 2010.

It's been ages since i last blogged.

I have been wanting to. But due to laziness and whatnots,

i owed this entry till now.

2010...

I don't know if it's a good year or not.

It's the year i decided to come back to school, and i DID.

School was alright. Quite difficult to catch up on the lessons i missed,

especially after TWO years.

However, WG(window gang) made my school days a memorable one.

I shall skip all the bad parts of school, and proceed to the good ones.

(Because i see no point in procrastinating)

Those days that we annoyed the teacherSsss. HAHA.

We pulled our pranks, we joked, we laughed together, go recess

together, study together, celebrate Elain's birthday together. Many many

fun times spent with them. (:

Part of us went to Shanghai, NanJing for 9 days. 9 freaking days.

The cold weather, those partying nights in the hotel room.

Those shopping times, school times etc. Of course, those times when

we cried, we were together too (:

I went to KL Petaling street with Candy, ahmok, Gu and Jojo.

3days. Shopped alot, chatted alot with Candy.

Had a 4days 3 nights chalet at PA bungalows with Ben and co.

Talked alot, drink, smoke, play...

Won 2 3D2N DTE costa sands chalet by nEbo.

BBQ and played around there.

Lastly. Results.

Mugged alot before exams.

I got 1st in class, i improved in most of the subs(Leave out Maths&Art -.-)

I applied for Bursary and i received 2 instead.

Another merit bursary that reward me for being the top 10%.

2011...

WG is all separated. No longer all by the window anymore.

But still, the fun is still there.

This year, we HAVE to be more serious in work.

It's an important year and we have to really mug hard.

I've been trying to drop art. And depend on the main 5 subs.

I want to go sec 5 and get into Poly and pursue the course that i want.

I want to do really well so as to make up for the time i squandered away.

This year. Means more intensive revisions, remedials, supplementaries.

More coming back during the holidays. But i'm very determined to do well (:

Especially when i've a very capable, sweet desk partner who keeps reminding me

things that i've to do or bring (:

Thank you mushroom x3

2010-11-02T22:38:00.002+08:00

Today went to school with my flu bug.

Maths teacher was late but went on with the lesson.

She told us that our maths teacher

next yr would be our contemp

teacher in charge.

Suay or what?

And botak still remains

our form teacher (Y).

After that went home sleep.

Super tired.

And Katty came my house find me.

I missed Humpty's call

and he went home =_=

Maybe he thought that no one's home

and he has no keys.

But my keys are with him. =_=

Eventually he came and meet me

after dinner.

Chatted with Katty about

lotsa things as usual.

But this time, the topics that

we chatted about abit different.

More matured stuffs.

First, we talked about piercings.

Yeah, i'm getting my belly button

piercing this holiday.

I was afraid that Humpty wouldn't let me.

Initially i thought about doing it

then let him find out himself later.

But i wanted to respect him,

let him know, and get his approval.

When humpty came,

i talked to him and as expected,

he objected.

As much as he can't persuade me

to drop the idea with VALID reasons,

i, too, can't convince him to approve with reasons,

other than

"I don't want to have any regrets in my life"

Which is not valid enough for him.

We argued, but limited argues

in the presence of Katty.

I understand that he's worried and

he's afraid of whatever side effects it may cause.

But ... tattoos also got "side effects" right?

I'm merely pursuing something

that is NOT permanent, and

something that i've wanted.

I want to be happy when i'm young.

I want to try.

After that we talked

about commitments.

I talked to Katty,

listing the reasons why i'm afraid of

marrying early.

Of course, she understood me.

And she talked about nutty too.

Yes, i agreed the love between them is really deep.

But i have no confidence in my love.

I don't know why either.

Talked about random stuffs, money and trips.

Well, really a nice talk with her.

After that sent her to bus stop

and i continued harassing Humpty for

his approval.

In the lift, he raised his voice at me,

which made my tears flow.

It's been a long time since

he last shouted at me like that.

After noticing that i cried,

he immediately soften his tone,

and tried to coax me.

I just couldn't understand why

he wouldn't respect my decisions,

and wouldn't let me know why he objected to it.

We needed to communicate.

But we never. He eventually agreed to it with much reluctance.

But, how many quarrels can we take?

How many piercings do i want more?

I don't know my limit.

How much does our r/s can withstand?

One belly button piercing, we already strained our r/s like this.

I'm not young anymore.

I want to do things that i like before i regret,

before being tied down - my major fear.

I don't know.

I know i loved him.

But am i really able to resist the temptations and

give up piercings,

just to be with him happily ever after?

Damned.

I really hope that we can talk things out.

Baby, please.

Day 2 after peanut left for Taiwan.

Katty told us that he was "cheated".

I was very angry but there was nothing much we could do as well.

Peanut, just tahan okay?

I know it's gonna be tough.

But then you're already there.

Be positive and a year will be gone soon.

Wei le future, you must tahan and work hard.

It's a very good chance to save since living conditions

there not very good compared to Sg and

things there very cheap.

So you must tahan.

Don't breach the contract and get yourself in trouble

with laws, or finances, understand?!

Be patient and we will wait de.

Take care nutty.

Update Katty very often.

We miss you.

2010-11-02T02:05:00.002+08:00

Peanut left for Taiwan this afternoon.

Though we hope that this separation will never arrive, it still did, but we will

view this matter in a positive light.

Kat suggested that we update ourselves more on the net

i.e. , more pictures of our outings, meetings, fun etc. Which is to say

we have to meet up more luhs!

Of course, i'm also a clever girl.

I suggested to start planning for chalet now, so that everything

is in place, except for peanut. So when he's officially back,

we'll have a wild party time :D

Sounds nice. (:

A year will pass very soon - yeah,

as long as we remain positive and cheerful.

Don't let this separation be a wall that separate us in our hearts,

in terms of relationships.

We shall remain as close as ever, or even closer.

Yes you, cb nut.

See, my blog already 2 posts for you le leh.

Touched not huh?

Don't cry okay, tissue very ex hor.

Ya la. I miss you la can?!

Be sure to come back in the same shape hor.

You yourself also must update yourself more on

the net!

Cannot find Taiwan girls and must love Kat more more more!!

We won't abandon you! (:

Sometimes,

in order to achieve what we want,

we have to be truthful to ourselves.

It's not about the results.

It's about the effort put in,

and continuously make sure

that we are really doing great.

Sometimes,

there are distractions in life, yeah.

But what will make us stay

focused is only

Motivation.

Find the right motivation and

work towards it.

Everyone has failed

in life before.

Me, too made a terrible mistake.

It's about facing up to your mistake and

take the appropriate actions.

I hope you understand. (:

Jiayou.

2010-10-31T23:23:00.002+08:00

31st October 2010.

I just came back from Shanghai, Nanking yesterday after a 9 day immersion trip there.

Yet i'm facing another separation today, the very next day.

Thought i could take this, but i realised it isn't as easy as it seems when emotions got the

better of me.

During the trip, i've been looking forward to 30th Oct when i come back to the drinking session.

I've never thought 1st Nov would come so fast and i would have to say goodbye again.

Instead of going pub, peanut and Kat came up to my house and drink here. Yes, they're together again - which made me really happy. I unpacked my stuffs, and soon got tired and we went to sleep.

The next day, (today)we went to dte and had lunch at JustAcia. After that Bumper car at hub's level 4. Next, bought a kite and went to Kat's house nearby and flew it.

To cut things short, we went to a void deck and slack after that and began talking about living together after they ROM.

And for fun, we suggested nut to say something to us before he leave.

Though he mentioned nothing much, i still feel a tinge of sadness. But i'm glad he finally understood why i was so calculative towards him - which is, i always made sure i paid him back

the money he spent on me.

Then it was our turn to say something to him.

Humpty baby started first and it was very normal feeling. I felt as if we were doing reflections

on our friendships of 2 years.

My turn -

I cried within 2 sentences because i suddenly remembered that we had so much

memories, there was so much i needed to tell him, needed to remind him, and i needed to let him know.

I couldn't put those into words and i cannot relate myself well just now. I don't even know what i was talking about, whether they understood me anot. I just went on and on ... till everyone cried, except humpty, he managed to control his tears, though i can see that he's sad, too.

There was so much for me to say, and i just, don't know how to put it. I just hope Kat and Nut understood me. Hugs are meant to be comforting, yet the first time i hugged you, it's to hug you goodbye, and its the first time hugs felt unbearably tormenting for me.

2 years is not too long, not too short.

The first day i met you at the fucking far Bukit Timah, you'd declared

that cats in the whole wide world are named Min min. -.-

I will never forget the times when you

Said something that is supposed to be a joke > no one laughs > Laugh yourself > continued saying another one.

I will never forget the times when you talk cock made me laugh when i had problems with Humpty, and offered solutions, though your solutions DON'T work.

I will never forget that we bought you an elephant G-string and you wore it at Pasir Ris Park.

I will never forget that you pestered me to scold you when i was feeling down, you even said the more i scold the more shiok you feel, ya right.

And "The wall's waiting for you, the cactus smiling at you" <- classic.

Of course, those stupid things that you did, like today,

act cute, use stirrer stir your mountain dew and ask us why are you stirring it?

I will never forget that you're the cause of bullying and your super cartoon reaction never

failed to make us laugh. And those slacking times at void deck eating cup noodles, tonn till daylight, first train. Those times when we played L4D.

What i can say more is, take care of yourself and don't get cheated because you're chinese is DAMN FUCKING noob - further more, there traditional CHINESE.

Please make use of this one year to brush up your chinese. We will wait for you to come back.

Update yourself on the net more. 1 year not short for us, just because you're our happy fruit. Without you, i don't know who to kb when i no mood, i don't know who else will make me laugh like one retarded idiot. But we will wait. Rest assured, you won't be lonely and WJSK won't abandon you this cbNutty. Take care, and miss us please (:

Loves, WJSK Minmin (:

2010-10-13T21:36:00.003+08:00

Boo.

Exams started. Been busy with studying.

First papers are English 1 and Social Studies.

Memorised damn lotsa Essays and luckily Sri Lanka came out.

SBQ is a killer. Damn it. Felt so indignant. Teacher also never teach properly.

Geography is still quite okay, though i forgot some labels in diagrams.

Seriously hope i'll do well for geog.

Maths 1 and physics totally no confidence.

English 2 and Chinese 2 quite okay, though English kinda hard.

Chem, Art and Maths 2 left. Totally gave up on art.

End of exams marks the departure for shanghai.

I don't know if i should feel excited anot.

If this shanghai trip is gonna screw my holidays, i'll go mad.

Since the start of the exams, been meeting that mushroom of mine early

in school to date(study) HAH.

As early as 5plus, when the lights are not on yet (corridor lights)

It's freaking dark and we both can't see. Damn scary.

Sleep less than 5 hours everyday. Damn tired. Studied chem a little just now, ytd and will study later. Tml meeting that mushroom early again. HAHA.

Lastly, Happy birthday in advance to Furball Katherine! Haha, 19th liao, very soon 20 le, like how it felt like yesterday when we celebrated your 18th birthday.

And, Happy birthday AVATARRRRRRRR~

2010-09-14T00:10:00.002+08:00

It's 12.10am and i'm still here blogging.

First day of school was as usual.

Just add in abit of reluctance going to school and a lot of restlessness that would be perfect.

Chinese teacher would not be here for 2 weeks. Shiok oh.

Might be going for Shanghai briefing on wed.

Oh yeah. 2 weeks later, CCA stand down. Nice ^^v.

So i must make it a point to attend CCA every and i mean EVERY session.

baby not with me today, and i missed him alot.

Waaaaay too much man.

But we're meeting tomorrow. Claps.

English was hilarious.

Mak: Those who did not pass up two compre passages and a summary do not deserve to sit on the chairs. So find a most comfortable spot on the floor.

(All sat on the floor except me and mushroom) LMAO.

I don't know who completed the homework, cos some just sat on the floor to acc their friends. But it was like, mad funny and cute.

Super worried for maths as i'm having problems due to the two years that i was away. Shag. Gotta work doubly hard. Yes i can!

Watched some videos online and it's about tattoo and piercings. Man, i was so tempted by those piercings. D: Humpty wouldn't let me ): Argh. Problem.

Life back to normal and i can't adapt to it. Keep on thinking about last week, when everything was fun, happy and nicee. Grrr. I must turn on my mugging mode.

Took height and weight today and I GAINED WEIGHT.

Although i'm fat enough already, i STILL gained weight.

Nvm, hah. I don't care what others say about me, since i have humpty already.

But i'm still so super self-conscious that i must lose some weight soon, cos of my low self-esteem ):

decided to try to job tml morning. Starters . And breakfast later, since i've skipped dinner :D.

Keyword: TRY.

Gonna call humpty to hear his voice again and go to sleep. Hope i really am motivated to go jog tml. (afraid of the darkness, when sun have not risen, and alone .... scary. That's what stopping me ): )

2010-09-13T00:07:00.007+08:00

Bye holidays ; Hello school.

Days and nights of waiting, and looking forward, finally ended.

My fairytale days ended like a sentence. A short few words sentence.

It passed so fast, that i doubt it's even 4days 3 nights.

But truth is, i had to wake up to reality.

Fairytale Day 1:

Woke up and had lunch with Mom and dad. Previous night i slept at 4 with brother.

That week before holidays was really suffocating. Time spent with baby was like, damn little.

And mom even said it's been a week since she last saw him.

Finally, the day came, and i woke up at 10am despite sleeping at 4am.

Waited for mom to reach home, lunch, and went home to watch videos.

3.30pm started to prepare. But was late. 4pm went out of house, dragged myself and stuffs to confectionery shop, bought a mini cake for humpty.

Took cab over to chalet. $10 ):

End up reached there, the office closed at 6pm. $10 wasted.

Checked in, went into chalet and waited for humpty.

Dark clouds were hovering and i'm like super worried for humpty.

His slippers damn slippery and with him lugging those food and heavy stuffs.

To be honest, i was damn freaked out during that one hour. (Humpty reached around 5.30pm.)

It was dark and cloudy for one, second to that, is that instant when i opened the door.

A gust of wind gushed out. And the whole chalet was dark too, with no electricity.

Braved myself and went in, put my things on the dining table and went to open the main electricity box. The main switch that controls the electricity in the whole chalet was off.

And poor me. Have to trial and error. (Because you have one rectangular box where u look for it when there's a blackout, and the other is the meter). I have no experience in this field D:

Got everything done, and i sat on the sofa, on the television (to create some noise to ease myself). I dared not step into the room, pretty creepy.

Played with itouch, watched teevee, listened songs to calm myself down. One major reason was that, you know, chalets are not really "clean", and to add on, it's the seventh month.

Soon, thunder boomed. I was so scared that i kept calling humpty, and he did not pick up my calls. That scared me even more. Plus worried.

Few mins later he dropped me an sms saying that he'll be late and he's very frustrated.

I felt really bad. Because of me, make him feel so frustrated. It's the first day, and i really don't want to quarrel.

When he reached, i went down to fetch him, helped him carry things upstairs. While he's unpacking, i lighted the cake and sang him the birthday song. Can see he was really happy. Hah. Then we ate the cake together, and i excitedly pestered him to open his present(s). He opened it so carefully and he was so touched that he hugged me so tightly.

The present puzzle with frame and a pillow nicely wrapped.

After that, he kept the presents and went to bathe, as we wanted to dine out. Because he forgot to buy the dishwasher. =_= Blur humpty!

And i cannot stand eating and leaving the plates in the sink until the next day. Ewww.

While bathing, realised that my period came. =_=! And i only had pantyliners with me.

I was a little frustrated and told humpty. And he was so thoughtful.

So we hurried to Whitesands NTUC and bought my pads and dishwasher and we settled for KFC. Had a super fulfilling meal and went back to chalet.

KFC fries :D

Slacked, played poker and drank Barcardi. Was a little dizzy and watched baby pieced the puzzle. Hah! So cute and so serious !

Watched our all-time favorite - Taiwan hurricane Heh. And awhile later we went to sleep.

Everything done except the secret message!

Humpty struggling with the message

He's so serious and determined to get it done!

The last few pieces and he's already slacking!

Finally the last piece!

Doneee!! Tadaaang! He's admiring it. I made him read it out and he blushed!

The real layout of the puzzle before it became a puzzle.

Fairytale Day 2:

Woke up at around 12pm or so? Around there.

Laid in bed, reluctant to wake up. I was so reluctant to leave Humpty's arms. However, humpty woke up, and went to watch teevee.

Reluctantly woke up and went to bathe, as humpty needed to take mc.

Walked out to bus stop but was late, around like 2pm already. Spotted a cab and took a cab. Waited for consultation. After that, we bused to Loyang Point Party world KTV.

Sang for like 3 and a half hours. Really fun singing with humpty.

8pm, walked to e!hub from loyang. Nice, peaceful walk when we had a h2h talk (:

Walked around e!hub and went back chalet. Drank and watched Taiwan Hurricane. Cooked supper and slacked and played with humpty till really mad! We were laughing like mad and we're like wrestling. Knocked my knee onto the headboard ): Ouch. Stopped playing and went to sleep. determined to wake up early. P/s my cooking is NICEEEE (: creative okayyy.

Fairytale Day 3:

10 am woken up by television sounds. Humpty told me to go off the television. Despite being blur, i recalled reminding him to off the television last night. I was scared and told him to go instead. It got so loud that it was annoying, with the stupid barney song..."i love you, you love me..." humpty reluctantly went out. He came in to sleep again. Did not ask whether the tv was on or off, as i know it'll freak me out for another night. Woke up around 1pm. Mom called at 9plus that she met with an accident. Was so worried. wanted to go home. But she told me she was alright , and my aunt is with her. Felt relieved. Woke baby up and told him. He, too was worried. Messaged mom to confirm that she is alright.

Bathed and went to Whitesands again. Went to have Sakae Sushi tea-time buffet(humpty's idea). Ate abit and was full =_= I liked the ice cream though :D Nicey mango sherbet! Walked of of Sakae with a near-exploding tummy. Wanted to vomit, all thanks to Humpty! He too, wasn't feeling good. Walked around whitesands and decided to walk back into the chalet. A long walk. On the way, we talked again, a nice stroll, nice breeze and nice setting sun.

Suddenly wanted to ride bicycle and went to rent a 2-persons bike. Due to my inability to see clearly at night, baby refused to let me take the front seat. *grumbles* Well, was damn fun. Enjoying the breeze and that moment was so romantic. There were times when i just lazed at the back, hugging him and he did the cycling.

returned the bike at 8.15pm and walked back to chalet. On the way, played the swing and flying fox. Damn fun and recalled many memories together.

Reached chalet, and drank again. This time, drank alot. And was drunk. Went to toilet vomit. D: While playing poker, heard sounds from the living room, and i was scared stiff but still, acted like nothing happened. Humpty called B over and his friend. Heh. Laid on bed as humpty went to watch Taiwan Hurricane. Head was splitting. Humpty came in to check on me every ten mins. How cute. Assured him that i was alright and he went out reluctantly.

Smelled something. Something smoky. Went out to have a look and saw humpty cooking, clumsily. HAHA. He was whipping something for my stomach (: How sweet. Watched a bit of the show and rotted. Waited for friends to come over. When they reached, talked cock and played. Kinda funny man! Super nice chat with them.

Slept at 4am.

check-out Day.

Woke up at 9.30am.

Pestered humpty to wake up and get ready to check out.

Before we went out, he took out two rings from his cupboard and put them on my fingers, and gave me a kiss. I told him before that i want him to confidently be able to say that he love me, and put on the rings again on my fingers.

I had not realised that he stole the rings from my pucca pouch. I was really so touched.

paid the bills and booked a cab to get out. Sent friends home and went to humpty's house. After that , we cabbed to our house and i cooked for humpty. He went to school after that while i went to fetch bobo. After school, followed humpty home and he packed his things to tonn at my house.

Understood mummy's accident, and her injury. Lucky it's not so serious. But it looks like she had a really serious fall! Heart pain.

Had a nice week with humpty

and i was really reluctant to leave.

Enjoyed our personal time together,

though i still missed mum and family.

It really bonded us together, alot.

I'm sure this few days,

really impacted on humpty alot too.

He's a really sweet guy. He did things that

normal guys don't do. Like when i was

in the toilet, he passed me my pad when i

asked him to. He was so sweet, caring when

i had stomach cramps and cooked hot water for me.

He was so understanding and nice to me.

Was really touched by his little actions (;

I love him so much for everything.

Now, i missed him once he's away from me.

Our love is alive again.

2010-09-04T13:10:00.005+08:00

Yay. got my report book on friday.

Can say i improved. But can say otherwise.

Cos this common test, maths teacher helped us alot (:

I hope i can maintain this way, until N's.

Gotta work hard for EOY le.

But now, gotta play hard first. HAHA. Sept holidays wor. Heh.

Just glanced through facebook.

And saw some of my primary school classmates, and even sec sch ones(ex).

Seeing them so happy with their life, getting somewhere, and some were still able to become great friends.

A tinge of regret hit me. Hard.

However i regret , at least i'm on the right track now.

Nvm the time wasted.

I just hope to prove everyone who looked down on me, who "bully" me, who disliked me wrong.

Hais.

2010-09-02T19:23:00.004+08:00

I FCKING HATE THAT CHEENA TEACHER I SWEAR.

HAPPY BDAE HUMPTY BABY ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Taking report book tml

Off for chalet after that till thurs

Friday WWW with mom bobo and jojo - hopefully

There goes all my holidays ):

Now i'm jumpy cos i'm anxious about report book tml!

SHALL POST AFTER I GET IT -

WHEN I'M LESS JUMPY AND I HAVE THE TIME !

2010-08-21T15:00:00.003+08:00

I don't know if it's a good thing,

that my brother is so goddamn close with humpty baby.

Sometimes i feel happy and lucky, but then sometimes,

i feel ~~neglected.~~

We were supposed to watch Step up 3 yesterday.

I skipped work, but what i got was whole day rot at home,

and he played games with my brother. (Y)

So i told him we'll watch today instead.

And? When brother asked him to go play bball with him,

he agreed without talking to me about this movie date.

Humpty baby was the one who wanted a single date,

( i tend to include others in our date, the more the merrier)

i tried to stop myself from doing so, and i tried to plan.

Though plans to watch Despicable Me failed terribly,

i still continued planning.

We decided to watch Step Up since both of us liked the movie.

End up? Failed.

I told him since last month that i wanna go kbox.

Just the two of us.

It may be weird but we can get really high.

But my requests were "ignored" .

Then few days ago, he told him he planning something that i liked.

He said to go teoheng (some place to sing at Tanjong Katong which is cheap)

with brothers and asking me to go also.

Wtf. I mean, i am not flinching at the mention of his brothers, but then,

it made me feel like, my requests were ignored and taken lightly.

I thought it had to be a single date man, just the two of us.

I feel so damn ridiculous lor.

It's abit of a wet blanket.

Imagine you've been waiting, thinking about those times when you and him go K together,

fun, crazy, wild, happy.

Picturing this image in yr mind until the day you really go togt with him again.

But now, this picture is being cut away and i cannot imagine singing with his brothers.

It's okay to go and sing with his brothers, since we've known each other for many years.

But then shouldn't he bring me go first, and plan another one with his brothers?

It made me feel soooo. Argh. Sucks.

Whatever luhs. Gonna go find them at bball court after i have my brunch.

Sucks. Seriously.

2010-08-16T01:03:00.003+08:00

Thursday baby tonned at my house.

I chionged project like mad, and i was super angry, about project.

But then no point, so i just keep doing and doing.

From 1pm after school, chionged home do until 1230am . =_=

Friday hand up project. After school went Cineleisure.

First time go there.

Quite ok la actually HAHA. But then SINGLE DATING ATTEMPT #1 FAIL! FML.

Cos the show despicable me, sold out. Fuck man.

Should've booked tickets ): nvm, went to Clarke Quay buy Sticky. Can't find the place ):

Went to eat Subway, chilli crab sub. SUPER NICE ! Yummeh!

After that went Kovan, baby bathed at his ah ma house

and went to pasir ris. Tagged hearts awhile,

10pm went to meet desmond.

Around 12am, benson came down after watching his taiwan hurricane.

He became so shuai la! Haha. But pattern still the same.

Gah . I miss those day. Meet up more okay?

Talked all the way until 4am.

Went home, audi awhile and slept.

Had a freaking sick nightmare.

Saturday, met didi at Whitesands.

Late because Baby tired and drag time.

Help him choose cpl rings, and went to laminate,

deposit and annanas.

Block to eat and talk cock.

Went Kath's house take smth,

went bedok res meet Kelly.

Walked to Gugu house via town park.

Kath was there. Talked and had fun (:

Realised that had to present on Monday, i almost cried.

Baby was angry.

Went home and chiong all the way till 3.30 am.

Sleep.

Today, wake up and cont with project.

Baby went home and i really missed him.

After the meeting, he treat me sweeter and cared for me more.

And i realised i missed him more.

I wonder how love and r/s can be based on a contract or rules.

He's such a nice boy, but then? Many mixed emotions about this man.

Looking forward to next meetup.

Miss those old days when we meet everyday, slack, cycle here and there

and 777 for icepops ):

Reminisce.

2010-08-02T22:01:00.002+08:00

school's mundane . Common tests week. Flunking throughout.
SS, studied like one idiot but managed to pass it.
Chem, last min revision, but no hope.
Physics, didn't expect it to be so difficult either.
Chinese was hard, though they thought i did quite well,
But i failed my own expectations.
English results not out,
and Geog is two weeks later.

Down for remedial because i failed map reading
And duck pointed right to my face and told me off so rudely.
I swear i'm gonna score A for yr next test.
You watch me.

MT, same old thing. Haggle over project stuffs.
Still have to edit and print -.-
Still the same old ppl. Me, elain and sy.
Leo will only come look for the 3 of us with regards to it.
She claims that she's very FAIR and JUST.
Let's see.

Went home, "bargained" with printer to let me print my project.
Baby came and finally it relented.
Went Sing song and bedok inter buy and look for stuffs. Went home.
Dinner ,all showing black face.

Was stunned but then when i got to know why,
I also got stunned.
This is my brother, my own brother.

I will stoop to anything for his well-being.
Beware.

2010-07-19T16:19:00.002+08:00

Hi ya. This post is dedicated to WG (:
Okay, Not dedicate. But in fact,
it's a post with motive, yeah.

Yes, end of WWW. And soon enough,
we'll be saying "Hello" to Common tests
AND E-Y-E.

Exam sucks, studying sucks -
I CLEARLY KNOW.
I don't drop out for no reason :x
But then at the same time, i'm just a VERY GOOD example
why studying is so important.
If it's not, why do i have to be so humble and come back to school ?

Those who scored well for MYE, i'm very proud.
All us can do it, sure.
But then paying attention and concentrating is yet another matter
all by itself.

Till here, you guys will know what my motive is already, right ?
Yes.
I want us to be in the same class again, next year, sitting by the window again.
So that is, all of us have to work very very hard, buck up,
and prove teachers wrong. OR maybe, yr enemies or parents, whoever.

Me and mushroom really really want us to be together.
ANd sooo.... we must start revising,
because every tests counts. Agree?

Moreover, start new semester,
new topics, it's not so difficult, is it ?
Try to pay more attention in class, and
try to concentrate and study more (:

We'll help each other, promise ? :x
I really really want to motivate us, (each other) to study hard.
I don't want just me and/or the other few to score well only.
I want ALL of us.
It may be hard, but try (:
Sorry, i'm persistent on this, because i want the best for you guys.
Anything that you don't know, we can ask each other what.
Right ?

Ask yourself :
- Do you wanna retain ?
- Do you wanna drop to NT or lower class ( different classes )? which is to say, we're separated.
- Do you want to have additional stress when it comes to coping and facing yr parents?
- Do you want to fail common test before you wake up and study and realise it's too late?

Me and mushroom cares. x3
And we truly want to motivate you guys.
I don't mean that you're not studying hard enough.
Or whatever.
I just think that sometimes, we do get lazy at times,
and forget what is our ultimate motive.
Sometimes reminders and some motivation helps.
And we're willing to (:

Don't wait till retain then regret not studying.
Mushroom is one good example.
I don't want you to be like me.
Waste 2 years and come back again.
Those 2 years go work, kena look down -.-
I don't care if you smoke or not,
you ah lian or what.
As long as we peacefully finish our education,
i'll be mad happy for you all (:

Please work hard, WG.
We can do this together man!
Mad loves!

2010-07-18T13:24:00.002+08:00

Friday.

Went late for sch and WG met me at my house. Slacked at my house till 9 and slowly walked to school. Reached school some had to run and me Doph and SY picked litter. To cut things short, shan't mention what ahmok says during litter picking.

Went back to classs, since PE left 15mins. Then recess. After recess, physics for 15mins, chuaong came and talk talk, talk dao maths period almost finish, then called us WG go out and talk, write report -.-

Write dao left 5 mins of SS, DANG ~ ! School finished.

Rushed home and Bathed and take bus to meet doph, jeremy, sy, and her boyf at near kaki bukit.

Boarded their bus.

Note: Jeremy damn damn hyper. And keep disturb my boyf. D: But end up kena disturb.

Met alien and jj at WS. Bought old changkee and baby bought bubble tea.

Met mummy at WWW entrance, and she helped us buy tickets.

x3 ya uber loads MOM! Mwarks.

Then went in and change, girls with girls, boys with boys.

Boys were faster , of course cos, we girls are camwhoring inside . LOL!

Went out to have a splashing GOOD time!

First is tsunami.

Quite fun. Some of them playing and swimming away.

But me and SY and her boyf just floating around. HAHA.

Then after that went to play ular lah. Girls with girls and boys with boys. HAHA.

Played that countless times, and went to Professor playground to play the slides, and

wait for yakult.

SY got hurt while playing.

Also played the Water works, both slides. I LIKE IT DAMN LOAD la. ):

Shiok river was closed. Aww.

And doph, elain, and jeremy, sy boyf played U.

On top can hear Doph and elain shout liao. Damn funny .

Went back tsunami and played a mini game with truth or dare,

in a circle. And Jeremy wants to SEDUCE my baby ! ):

Keep grabbing his arm when we're just holding hands.

One part we dared baby do gatsby with jeremy, copy him. DAMN hilarious la.

Laugh dao tummy ache. D:

Cut things short.

Wanted to play the slides again , but then going to close le. ):

Can't bear the place ):

But nvm, we will go back again !

HAHA.

Saturday work, quite sian lo . No customer one. After work took bus go gugu there meet candy, and tonn-ed at gugu house.

Note : MT project not edited since i cant find the powerpoint file. D:

2010-07-16T00:34:00.003+08:00

"Though miles may lie between us
but we are never far apart
for friendship doesn't count miles,
it's measured by the heart"

School today. School was as per normal, talking about those things
that happened recently to our classmate, considered as one of WG.
Was awfully peaceful, not so noisy compared to the past.

Mothertongue, talked about our project.
Teacher said our project was the best among the rest.
Was duper happy for a minute.
It was worth our effort and time,
though we rushed it out like a mathafcker.
Same old things, unhappy but still kept to ourselves.

Suddenly after mothertongue, Elain quarreled with someone from
the same mothertongue class. Haha. Best part is, we don't even know
when we were with her ALL the time. (Y)
And before that, some of the other people not involved, knew it .
H-A-H-A.
May you check your dictionary please.

I'm giving you enough face not to quarrel with you, or complain to teacher
when you obviously "stuff" words into people's mouth, just to complete that project.
Since you so unhappy, then talk to me RIGHT in my face la. Or rather, OURS. (:
Much appreciated.

If fairness and integrity is a game, you lost terribly.
And why only ELAIN? =_="
If you need 2 heads, at least make the other more beautiful or smart laaa. -.-
Enough.

After that, chemistry lesson.
Chowchow was picking on Jeremy right after he came back from toilet.
like wtf please. Is this how you treat a student of yours?
This proves that you're one teacher who condemn the students for ONE mistake.
Elmo came in and we were like so happy.
But heard the bad news, saw him quietly packing his things.
Many of us broke down and cried.
I've known him for not more than half a yr,
i still cried because i feel very helpless.
Friends, or maybe even classmates.
Are they really not worth you helping?
What if one day, this happens to one of our WG members ?
What'cha do?

It's so damn heart wrenching to know all this of a friend, and of a classmate.
A friend don't feel like a friend, and a classmate, at least for today, was more than
just a classmate to many of us.

I felt guilty.
Yes i do.
And maybe, that was one of the reasons of my tears.
I should've stopped him no matter what.
Fame, name, reputation.
Does it really mean so much?
After all, at the end of the day,
what is it that you have achieved ?
I should've stopped him.
None of these would've happened.
But i didn't and chose to let it happen.
WHY?

I didn't know that it would turn out this way.
I thought that it would just be a normal daiji,
but no. It wasn't. Jeremy was sad too.
It's so rare for him to be sitting around, doing nothing, and being so quiet.
Totally moodless, and Jeremy left RIGHT after bell ring, followed by daphne.
Chowchow shouted at them.

4minutes to bellring. Looking at the clock, tick-tock. Feeling so unbearable.
Wishing that the bell would ring faster, and we could get out,
rant everything out, so that we'll feel better.
But darned that chowchow shouted at them,
and the whole class about studying blah.

I wanted to follow Daphne, but curiosity got the better of me.
I wanted to listen to what chow chow had to say.
And she started to use DM to suppress us, saying
she'll report their names over.
I got so angry that i was gasping for breaths.
But nevertheless, i still shouted at her,
telling her that the whole class was so upset,
haven't she noticed it? How to concentrate in class when
their dear friend was saying goodbye ?
And she wanted to send the whole class for counselling.

After that, i was guilty for shouting at her. ):
What done cannot be undone, so i'll live with it.
At least i said everything RIGHT in her face, unlike some
hypo. 1st class actors (: (Y)

So many unfairness in this world, yet there's nothing me, or we can do to balance the scales.
What i can do now is, to pray for a second chance to be bestowed to E(like me),
and hope that nothing of the sort would happen again.

Friends, classmates.
Sometimes, friends seem like classmate, and classmates feels more like a friend.
I don't know where to draw the line anymore, since there are so many potential actors waiting for MediaCorp to discover.

Fine. Byethzxc !

2010-07-10T20:28:00.005+08:00

Love party / hearts req . Auditionsea.

♡Lavender♡ Level 1 - 0 ♥ (Complete Wedding Party)
♡Lavender♡ Level 1 - 0 ♥♡Lavender♡ Level 2 - 20 ♥
♡Lavender♡ Level 3 - 60 ♥
♡Lavender♡ Level 4 - 120 ♥
♡Lavender♡ Level 5 - 200 ♥
♡Lavender♡/♡Daisy♡ Level 5/6 - 300 ♥ (Love Party)
♡Daisy♡ Level 6 - 300 ♥ (Audition - Opera - Cha Cha Cha 106 BPM) | Ballroom 4k
♡Daisy♡ Level 7 - 420 ♥
♡Daisy♡ Level 8 - 560 ♥
♡Daisy♡ Level 9 - 720 ♥
♡Daisy♡ Level 10 - 900 ♥
♡Daisy♡/♡Saffron♡ Level 10/11 - 1,100 ♥ (Love Party)
♡Saffron♡ Level 11 - 1,100 ♥ (Audition - Sad Samba - Samba 120 BPM) | Ballroom 4k
♡Saffron♡ Level 12 - 1,320 ♥
♡Saffron♡ Level 13 - 1,560 ♥
♡Saffron♡ Level 14 - 1,820 ♥
♡Saffron♡ Level 15 - 2,100 ♥
♡Saffron♡/♡Cuphea♡ Level 15/16 - 2,400 ♥ (Love Party)
♡Cuphea♡ Level 16 - 2,400 ♥ (Audition - Get Out - Samba 120 BPM) | Ballroom 4k

♡Cuphea♡ Level 17 - 2,720 ♥
♡Cuphea♡ Level 18 - 3,060 ♥
♡Cuphea♡ Level 19 - 3,420 ♥
♡Cuphea♡ Level 20 - 3,800 ♥
♡Cuphea♡/♡Aster♡ Level 20/21 - 4,200 ♥ (Love Party)
♡Aster♡ Level 21 - 4,200 ♥ (Audition - Por Una Cabeza - Paso Doble 120 BPM) | Ballroom 4k

♡Aster♡ Level 22 - 4,620 ♥
♡Aster♡ Level 23 - 5,060 ♥
♡Aster♡ Level 24 - 5,520 ♥
♡Aster♡ Level 25 - 6,000 ♥
♡Aster♡/♡Freesia♡ Level 25/26 - 6,500 ♥ (Love Party)
♡Freesia♡ Level 26 - 6,500 ♥ (Audition - Feel of the Night - Salsa 126 BPM) | Ballroom 4k

♡Freesia♡ Level 27 - 7,020 ♥
♡Freesia♡ Level 28 - 7,560 ♥
♡Freesia♡ Level 29 - 8,120 ♥
♡Freesia♡ Level 30 - 8,700 ♥
♡Freesia♡/♡Asphodelus♡ Level 30/31 - 9,300 ♥ (Love Party)
♡Asphodelus♡ Level 31 - 9,300 ♥ (Audition - Shall We Dance - Samba 128 BPM) | Ballroom 4k

♡Asphodelus♡ Level 32 - 9,920 ♥
♡Asphodelus♡ Level 33 - 10,560 ♥
♡Asphodelus♡ Level 34 - 11,220 ♥
♡Asphodelus♡ Level 35 - 11,900 ♥
♡Asphodelus♡/♡Caladium♡ Level 35/36 - 12,600 ♥ (Love Party)
♡Caladium♡ Level 36 - 12,600 ♥ (Audition - Last Summer - Rumba 130 BPM) | Ballroom 4k

♡Caladium♡ Level 37 - 13,320 ♥
♡Caladium♡ Level 38 - 14,060 ♥
♡Caladium♡ Level 39 - 14,820 ♥
♡Caladium♡ Level 40 - 15,600 ♥
♡Caladium♡/♡Violet♡ Level 40/41 - 16,400 ♥ (Love Party)
♡Violet♡ Level 41 - 16,400 ♥ (Audition - Cow Boy Jive 136 BPM) | Ballroom 4k

♡Violet♡ Level 42 - 17,220 ♥
♡Violet♡ Level 43 - 18,060 ♥
♡Violet♡ Level 44 - 18,920 ♥
♡Violet♡ Level 45 - 19,800 ♥
♡Violet♡/♡Rosemary♡ Level 45/46 - 20,700 ♥ (Love Party)
♡Rosemary♡ Level 46 - 20,700 ♥ (Audition - Can Can (Acoustic Mix) - Jive 150 BPM) | Ballroom 4k

♡Rosemary♡ Level 47 - 21,620 ♥
♡Rosemary♡ Level 48 - 22,560 ♥
♡Rosemary♡ Level 49 - 23,520 ♥
♡Rosemary♡ Level 50 - 24,500 ♥
♡Rosemary♡/♡Gladius♡ Level 50/51 - 26,520 ♥ (Love Party)
♡Gladius♡ Level 51 - 26,520 ♥ (Audition - Can Can (Acoustic Mix) - Jive 150 BPM) | Ballroom 8k

♡Gladius♡ Level 52 - 27,620 ♥
♡Gladius♡ Level 53 - 28,760 ♥
♡Gladius♡ Level 54 - 30,000 ♥
♡Gladius♡ Level 55 - 31,420 ♥
♡Gladius♡/♡Edelweiss♡ Level 55/56 - 33,180 ♥ (Love Party)
♡Edelweiss♡ Level 56 - 33,180 ♥ (Audition - Can Can (Acoustic Mix) - Jive 150 BPM) | Ballroom 8k

♡Edelweiss♡ Level 57 - 35,600 ♥
♡Edelweiss♡ Level 58 - 39,320 ♥
♡Edelweiss♡ Level 59 - 45,620 ♥
♡Edelweiss♡ Level 60 - 57,060 ♥
♡Edelweiss♡/♡Edelweiss♡ Level 60/[♡ MAX] - 78,760 ♥ (Love Party)
♡Edelweiss(MAX RING)♡ Level 61 - 78,760 ♥ (Audition - Can Can (Acoustic Mix) - Jive 150 BPM) | Ballroom 8k

2010-06-25T23:45:00.002+08:00

Targets :

1 - Genting at the end of yr ($800)

2 - Taiwan after O's ($8000)

3 - Personal laptop - (Good end of yr grades and mommy will get it for me!)

4 - Camera ($300?)

5 - New phone - Sony Ericsson.

6 - Good grades , able to catch up on studies.

7 - Good N level grades to go Os .

8 - Good O's grades.

Things to do :

1 - Tuition Jo jo on Sunday

2 - Pack bag on sunday and that includes medicine

3 - English homework

4 - catch enough sleep .

5 - Twilight Eclipse movie with cuzzies.

taiwan.

2010-06-24T00:36:00.001+08:00

Am planning to go Taiwan further my studies after o. But then, on second thought, will I be able to let go of my family and friends and go there alone, like 2 years ? I must first achieve scholarship. If not, I wouldn't be able to afford. Singapore now offers courses for us to enrol over there. And Taiwan is cheaper than other countries like australia and USA. I have 2 more years to decide  so see my results then say bahs. Hmm. Idk why I'm so in love with Taiwan. Maybe because of the natural sceneries and the weather. The people are nice, and the food is cheap too. Haha. Been there twice and never really enjoy. Love the night markets and theme parks there. And of course, those wonderful dramas they produce ! 

A werk before school reopen.

2010-06-23T01:59:00.001+08:00

A long wordy post since I'm blogging via my itouch. I love my baby. For the times that he spent with me. I love him for loving me so much. Baby tonn over ytd. Had dinner at gugu house past two days. So no life man. Hoping school reopen faster. Cos I've got no money already!! Hais. Gonna rot at home tml. Been on my itouch since it's my only entertainment. Bored ttmx.

sicked! D;

2010-06-21T02:14:00.001+08:00

Idk why must all this happen to me.

planning for taiwan!

2010-06-21T02:02:00.001+08:00

Went over to gugu house to tuition jojo. Met kat over there and candy rushed home after work. Had great fun playing with cuZzies. Hmm. Me and baby planned hao Liao. We are going genting this dec. And also KL. So save save save. Might be going with lovely cuzzies too! After that, our next trip will be after my o levels. Taiwan! I'm going with baby, mom and gugu. Dk my brother tagging along anot. Wanna go there for a month. :x Air tickets so ex. Of course enjoy ttmx then come back right? Haha. Looking forward to it. Hope baby's ns letter can be deferred till then.

Genting Trip 14-06-2010 - 17-06-2010 4D3N

2010-06-19T03:35:00.008+08:00

Pardon me. I partially forgot what
happened exactly.
Photos not in order.

The stupid ghost that tried to almost chase after me and jo!

Me and Jojo. Cool!

During dinner at that expensive restaurant.

Brother slurping the coffee cake

Me and gugu while waiting for hotel

Me and dad. I didn't agitate him. He just refused to smile

Yum yum. Starbucks!

Baby looking lost!

Brother and jojo!

Brother and Baby.

Nearing Malaysia's customs.

Didi playing baby's psp on the bus

baby - looking excited

Of course, i'm super eggcited!

Jojo wearing shades. Damn cool

The night before the trip :
Lugged our luggage to Gugu's house.
Was damn heavy since the luggage belongs to 3 persons - Me, Baby and brother.
Tuitioned jojo and ate gugu's friend beehoon for dinner ! (yum!)
Went to bedok inter with brother and baby to buy baby's shoes.
After that, went back to gugu's house.

Totally can't sleep.
So watched Monga til 2+, played facebook games in the meanwhile too.
3+, scrambled to bed, yet jojo was awake, and she DON'T let me SLEEP!
So played around with her , while baby rested awhile.

4+, me and jojo went to brush teeth.
4.30 woke everyone up, ate bread and bathed with the amulet water.
6.20 went downstairs to take cab to golden mile.

Couldn't sleep on bus cos too excited. Haha. So took random shots.
Looking at the sceneries and fell asleep.
On the way up the highlands, temp getting colder.
Woke up and baby wow-ed at the roads and the scenery.

- Reach there at 3.30, had to wait for hotel. Bought starbucks while waiting for hotel .
Took some pictures there, and brought baby and jojo around, since it's their first time.
The weather is very pleasant. Not very cold yet. Just nice.

After took hotel, went to hotel room to rest, and headed for food. First day, mainly shop and eat.
Explore the place nia.
Eat the the damned restaurant.
Combo meal for 6 supposed to be RM148.
Add tax add dao lai become RM170+
And it's not even satisfying!
So went around eating other things too.

At night, damn cold so i wore socks and sleep. Bo bian.

I'm wearing Jojo's lamb hat. She refused to let me take down.
And i'm walking like this in the theme park.
Like one ah hai nia. =_=

After playing the swing that flies. Haha. She damn happy!

Me and baby while waiting for the flying dragon coaster

Baby carrying jojo!

After buying the hat for her.

Me and baby x3

Marry Brown!

Day 2 :
Were late for Marry Brown's breakfast. So ate lunch instead.
After that, went to buy tickets for outdoor and indoor theme park.
Adult RM59 ; Child RM44
So headed to outdoor to play. Had fun playing some. But the guys weren't willing to play.
Played the Swing, Carousel, Flying dragon coaster, and the tea cup. Damn funny.

After that, went back to hotel to rest. Damn tired.
Then the adults came back and the guys( my bro and baby) went out to play lan.
Me and gugu went to have dinner.
And during dinner, the guys came back and baby won me a pink dolphin at the games counter!
Damn sweet, boy. I love you loadds!
Sat the monorail, cruised around.

Bum city got sales and gugu bought a jacket U.P. RM100+ at a flat price RM30+
Shopped around and back to hotel sleep.
At night, hungry again and went out to look for food.
Bought KFC .
5pcs chicken, a potato Cheezy wedges @ RM25 plus. Cheaper than SG!
But the chicken uhh. Argh. Original de damn salty. Spicy de damn spicy.

Had great fun here. Temp is -4 degrees Celsius. Didi wear bermudas (Y)

Baby carrying jojo. Again.
This little girl likes him!

Snow world. Damn romantic hor?
If you ever notice, in the snow world pics,
Baby hands are full of snow. Ready to snowfight!

Day 3 :
Went to Resort world walk walk. Shop around at First world while mom and Dad go casino.
Went to Snow world to play. Damn fun.
After that, shop the whole day and went back hotel to pack things.

The pathetic pizzas that cost RM80+

At night,
went to have pizza hut. Service damn KNS and i almost fck them up. nbcb.
So lousy service stil dare charge 5% service charge ?!

Nvm. Ate le, rest, and went to sleep, since have to wake up early tml to check out.
In the middle of night, me and Baby woke up lao sai siol. NB!
Snatch toilet.
heng ah. Me and mom's room is connected de. Easy access. Didn't sleep well cos of stomach discomfort.

Day 4 :
Checked out.
Left luggages at bell counter.
Went to shop around.
Sat at Starbucks waiting for time to pass.
Boarded bus and back to SG ):
Reached SG at 9.30.
Some funny things happen on this trip. Quite fun uh! Jojo was listening to music on bus, with headphones and she was like singing out aloud. "Baby baby baby NOOOOOO~!!! like baby baby baby NOOOOOOO~!!!!" And we're all like laughing like madness!

baby's and Di di's legs . Their legs attract the fishes!

Me's legs!

Tried fish spa for the first time too. Baby and me enjoyed this trip damn load.
And we're looking forward to the next.
We're planning to go during dec. So we're saving like fxckx now. ! Hah.

part of the photos uploaded on FB. Lazyyy.

Relationship between me and baby is strengthened through this trip. Once again, we've
created memories and happiness.
Iloveyou, boy. x3

2010-06-10T19:47:00.002+08:00

Currently quitting smoking.

Smoke 1 pack for the past week nia.

Still got 4 packs left.

Have to quit before school reopens.

Or rather,

get myself less addicted.

Things to do :

Buy my shoes for Genting trip.

Change SGD to Malaysia Ringgit.

Bring the luggage of Baby, me and didi (shared) to gugu house on Sunday.

I'm sosososososo excited since it's the first time me and baby going

overseas together.

And i've always liked long bus trips.

Hopefully i don't get carsick on the winding mountainous road to Genting.

Mummy mentioned we might be taking cable car to KL if circumstances allows us to.

Gosh.

I dread the idea of cable cars. But i'd really loved to go do some cheap shopping spree there.

How?

Discussing with mummy to take a bus instead.

Argh . Who's the idiot who invented cable cars ah ?! -'-

Baby's tonning over, playing games with didi.

He and didi's relationship is good + goood + gooooood~

And me?

pathetically watch dramas myself .

Nevermind. Used to it jiu hao le !

Going for late dinner!

Shall update private blog after that!

4 more days to go~ WEEEE !

2010-06-09T13:50:00.002+08:00

I'm soso excited.
5more days, i'll be on my way to genting with family and baby. x3 !
Fell sick for the past week.
And unfortunately i passed the flu bug to baby.
Lucky he recovers fast.
Coughing out blood is what happens everyday to me.
Now though i'm still coughing, but i feel so much better than earlier on.

Later gotta go tuition Baobei and pack my luggage.
Baby's bringing his stuffs over too. But he hasn't wake up yet.
Me love baby x3!

Suddenly remembered that i have not gone skating for a long long timee.
Shall go after genting trip!

Baby's resolved to quit smoking.
And i'm cutting down too. (:
I hope i am determined to quit.

Monday went airport fetch kimiy with Jeremy, alien and Doph.
After that, went Plaza Sing and Jeremy treated pizza hut.
Yummy. Thanks, dude!
Then walked around and went Jcube to play an hr.
We took neoprints too!
Quite fun actually! x3

2010-06-04T21:13:00.003+08:00

Received our cheque just now.
Me and baby dragged our sickly body to Farrer Park office to retrieve it.
But got a surprise after all. The amount is much more than we expected!

After that, went to Baobei house help her tuition while baby went home.

This morning, cough cough cough, phlegm and some blood came out. Scared me.
Went for lunch with mummy at Lambee.
Walk home after the bridge, straight vomit. (BOO)

This situation makes me hate to go out.
Tml going celebrate Candy's birthday.
Still haven get her cake, will get it tml.

Monday going fetch kimiy with Jeremy, Doph and Alien. Wanna go, but hopefully i've recovered by then. If not, go where also no mood luhs!

Had some quarrels with baby recently due to me, being jumpy from being sick. D:
But now hao liao . (Y)

Looking forward to Genting. About one week plus to go . ):

2010-06-01T23:43:00.002+08:00

Officially quit my job liao. Though only work on weekends,
it's still a hardcore 7-8 hrs
I wanna enjoy my holidays de eh.
Help my di di ask for the job there.
And boss says he's willing to hire him (Y)

Booked tickets to genting. Setting off on 14th.
It's 4d3n. (:

Now having flu + sore throat + cough.
Damn irritating. I'm praying hard that i have flu medicine at home.
Seen the doctor early this afternoon.
And my pulse rate is a eff-ing 119/min.
Doctor still thought the machine is malfunctioning. HAHA!
But i used to it already!

Went home and ate medicine after dinner.
I'm taking my medicine faithfully (even the yucky cough medicine) cos i wanted to have a early recovery! (so that i can go genting ! )
Feel damn irritated.
Do you guys know the feeling of wanted to sneeze while coughing ? =_=

Baby tonning this few days . Damn nice to have him beside me,
though he has school the next day.
Hmm.
Tml might be sleeping over at Candy's house to pei her,
cos i know she might be feeling down. (due to somethings i know)
Cheer up, girl. (:

Monday, going to airport with Jeremy, my dolphin and alien ^^v.
Finally get to meet them. Kinda happy though.
Hope my flu recover fast.

14days more to genting.

2010-05-26T21:36:00.003+08:00

Got back report book liao .
Just went meet-the-parents with Mom, Dad and Baby.
Saw Doph and Alien there. WOOO. Was so excited because idk why. LOL
Wasn't very glad with my results though i got 1st.
Due to my Science, Maths and combined not doing well enough.

Past is past.
Future more important!
Still thinking if i'm going school tml .
Damn lazy, tired and bored .
Tml, have to go book tickets and meet kat at night - tonn .
Which means . i'm going to need alot of energyyyyy!
Hmmm, on 2nd thought, i think i'm more to not going .

HAHA.
But hate to ps my beloved WG .
Shall see how !
Shall post when i'm free, probably after the weekend . Bye peeeps!

2010-05-23T23:15:00.003+08:00

Today went work late . Met baby at Bedok inter.
Slackslack work luhs .
Had lunch at Wasabi San , the newly opened Japanese restaurant
at Bedok inter, beside Cash converter, former Burger King.
Ordered Terriyaki Chicken, while baby ordered Black pepper chicken .
Super yucky.
Tastes like some CHAODA food with a sour taste . -.-
WILL NEVER go back there again , though it's cheap.

Quarrelled with Baby abit cause he kept irritating me.
After that, met my aunt and family at Sheng Siong and
Baby took the Free shuttle bus to GIANT home, since he lived near there,
within walking distance.

Baby going to collect his passport on Tuesday, after school ,
And we're going to book the tickets on Thursday night,
since Wed i have to go school to collect report book .
Hmmm .
Tired.
Reached home late because Daddy bought new phone.
Sony Ericsson Satio. Coolzxc man !
Hah . This week gotta save alot alot alot . (:
Next week have to plan 'cos working 3 days,
Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Either one day will be at Tampines,
while other 2 will be at Pasir Ris <3>

Private blog updated (: !
Baby, i still love you like before,
it's just that i'm lazy to express :P
Iloveyou, don't have to be said everyday.
I'm putting you in my heart, forever . (:

2010-05-22T23:06:00.002+08:00

Today went to work at Bedok Inter . Slack slack luhs . Haha.
In the middle, Kat and cbnutty got come find me and Baby.
Had fun bullying him luhs ! His pattern won't change de eh!
But he going clubbing tonight, and so we met awhile and he has to go.

While walking around at Bedok inter, I casually asked Baby,
what he want for his birthday this year.
I told him of my plans to open chalet this yr for him. ( Again )
Then buy an icecream cake, and a handphone for him .

And then he said what he needs is a certificate.
Then i was like, Okay, i'll make a certificate of appreciation for you,
for being so "nice" to me.
He say he don't need that and i thought he was referring to his poly cert.
But he said, I want a ROM cert.
-stun-

After dinner, slack and chatted about the past.
And went home.

Mom and Brother not at home though .
So no one snatch com with me :P
Baby went drinking session with brothers.
So got time to blog (:

Looking forward to next weekend,
so i can meet cbnutty and Kat again .

I kinda miss Candy though :/
It's been long since we 3 cousins met up and have fun together. ):
Trip to Genting has been confirmed since Baby's passport is available for
collection at ICA.
Now have to book tickets and hotel . Damn looking forward.
This time round, i must take alot of photos to fill up the photo album of me and Baby (:

- I don't know i mean so much
to Baby until today.
ROM?
Funny.
Don't think i don't know.
Baby trying to disiao me again right?!
Haha, i not so stupid hor!

2010-05-21T14:01:00.002+08:00

School was alright, with abit of reluctance to get outta bed.
Alien was almost late, and Daphne came with a "bad voice"
Jeremy wasn't here today, and Zi Cong sat with me.
Zhan Ming arrived and he began demonstrating how Alien and Dolphin
danced the kuku dance ytd, while we were away.
Had fun laughing, and playing, and dancing. Laughs die!

Were supposed to wear green. But i just don't have green shirts.
So not many wear green actually lahs .
School was alright. But teacher kb me cos of my CCA , which piss me off abit, and make me
start to hate her. Care so much for what, when i don't even give a fcuk ?

Meet the parents session on 26May, kinda looking forward to it, to get my results slip.
I'm sososo curious what teachers going to say to mom. So i'm tagging along.
I guessed it will be something like "Noisy, talkative" Or maybe negative comments for art,
which i don't really care at all.

- -

Quarrels sparked off because of quarrels .
One quarrel after another,
not tired meh ?
Don't tell me it's misunderstanding.
Friendship ?
Talk cock .

2010-05-20T23:22:00.004+08:00

I'm so pissed off two days ago.
It's yr fault yet you said it wasn't.
Are you lying or what?
Or trying to be funny is it?
Hate it when ppl say this at first and then later say that.
Machiam like roti prata seller, peng through and fro.
you know who you are la hor.
to that particuar "s", i'm writing this for you.

Enough of that rantings, though i'm moody.
Shall elaborate more on WG outing today.
Today did elearning at home, while conference in msn.
For chinese, social studies, we discussed answers quite abit.
It's alright la, actually. I kinda like it since i can smoke whenever i want.
But the thing is, the time given was kinda lPut on my ong and the information is not so
clear, as in how to submit or whatever.
So i was kinda pek cek, especially English.

Zi Cong came my house and meet me at around 1pm+
Grabbed a polo tee and jeans to wear as Kbox is mad cold.
Then took my jacket and everything and rushed out.
Took 65 and met Daphne and Jeremy near her house,
since we have to change to bus 21.

Talk cock-ing starts there. Haha, and on the bus. Damn hilarious. Laughed like mad.
Then Daphne and Zi Cong both took a corner of the upper deck's last row, while me and Jeremy sat next to each other with an empty seat between us.

Daphne and Cong both listened to their songs while me and Jeremy continued talk cock.
Was late, since bus 21 was super WOLS.
Made Elain and Zhan Ming wait quite abit. (Sorry ): )
Reached there, bought my barbell, and go deposit money, and rush to E!Hub and was late.

Went to KBox and ordered drinks, then go smoke.
After that singing starts. Was mad funny when Zhan Ming sang old songs.
We went crazy, and some crazy stuffs happened.

Will elaborate more later since i'm alighting the bus -.- (:
Most probably tml, since it's late and i have school tml .
Gnights !

- Edited .
During the Kbox session ytd, the guys went crazy bullying Zhan Ming. HAH .
They were practically "raping" him LOL. Poor guy. Just because he said something wrong to ZiCong which is "Fcuk you" .

After that, had some problems settling the bill with my card, idk why.
Luckily the guy there helped me pay with his Posb card, whereas i pay him by cash .
Maybe the machine got problem, cos i got no problems withdrawing at all .
After that, met baby for dinner. Tada.!

2010-05-20T09:32:00.003+08:00

After exams, schldays are fun days . Slack and joked around in school .
Abit of lessons for maths, english and chemistry . But it's alright though.
Today elearning. camping at home and msn with usual guys . :D

Friendships are very vulnerable.
Shall elaborate more later after Kbox .

2010-05-16T22:11:00.003+08:00

This is my blog. So , com'on .

People, beware of other people ard you . Like what she said, some people backstab.

But, what more scary is that, backstab le, beng wei , and take the knife give other people,

blame other people, then the person forever no fault, wrong de , is other people .

Get it ? This is the world of childish someone.

2010-05-16T18:52:00.002+08:00

Blog all you want luhs hor . I do things with my conscience .
Who you also blog, whatever also blog . Win liao lorhs .

Ytd say it's yr fault. Today say we accuse you . Omg pls .
What are u trying to say ? Make up yr mind ok?

2010-05-16T05:12:00.002+08:00

Things happen for a reason.

Deceitful denial . That's all i can say.
Wasted many hours of my beauty sleep communicating.

Now it's 5.30 am and i've got work tomorrow. -'-

It's very hard for me to trust again.

--

Met Kath just now, and she brought MM down .
Was surprised , but did expect it though.
Chatted abit and was knew somethings about her.
I don't know what i can say but i do hope it goes well.

Keep shoot MM and i really missed those times.
Shall go out togt as WJSK one fine day (:
Glad that clouds have cleared between us .

What are friends for ?
I seriously don't know. A few say that i'm a friend worth to keep, but why do i
always meet people who hurt me time and again ?
It really makes me hard to trust again.

I'm not to be trifled with, too. Everybody's patience has got a limit.
I heard means i heard. I won't twist or whatsoever.
Unless you tell me i'm actually deaf.

I don't wish to elaborate much now, as now what i write here,
might not turn out nice due to my freaking low mood.

Whatever.

-End of story-

2010-05-14T21:12:00.002+08:00

Last night slept in the morning 3am.
Today went to school in a funny mood.
Expecting it to be fun since it's after the exams,
or expecting it to be doomsday since we're getting back our results...

Whatever it is,
First period, Chemistry,
Surprisingly, i passed (:
Though just passed, but still, compared to many others who failed,
just failed, or terribly, it's still good.
Jeremy i think got highest in class since he mugged alot for chem. Well Done!
Elain, she did not do well, i think? (i forgot) But at least, if she never study,
who knows she might be getting lesser ? At least she managed to survive this paper! (Y)

I won't be like some bitch who scored well and but tells those who failed,
"I did terribly. I've never scored this badly before.."
It's like rubbing salt in their wound manszxc.

After that i think is Social Studies.
Highest in class is 21/30.
And i got 19 due to my source based not done well.
Jeremy got 20 and i'm so proud.
Not because he never done this well. BUT just because his hard work paid off,
and proved that if he worked hard, he can score better than me.
Elain passed i think (: Haha. She put in alot effort in understanding the concept behind the points.

After SS, is English, the subject that we feared most.
Because English is very important.
Miraculously , i passed.
Wasn't expecting a pass because,
the paper is quite hard.
But i still did it (:
Elain passed too (: (right?)

Geography, i got a 21/30 and i'm so uberly proud of myself .
This pays off for my -waking up at 5am to study- hardwork ):
And not to forget, mad memorising!
Elain didn't do well, but at least she got praised by teacher that
she did study.
Jeremy just passed (: Nice one.

Maths,
- spells MIRACLE.
I PASSED . both 2 papers! i passed! .
Can you imagine the joy i felt ?

Physics, i passed too (:
Though not much revision done, but still managed to pass by paying attention in class.

Elain did quite well for some subjects, and at least she passed the 2 major subjects. English and Maths (: Cheerios.
Jeremy mostly passed, right ? Except maths :x Nice (:
Daphne ... AH !! You have to put in more effort! Try paying attention in class.
HAH! Don't be sad. I know you did study with us, just that you're easily distracted. Try again, ok?

I don't understand why people can simply don't study and push the blame to something else ?
Deceiving themselves eh ?
Continue this way and you cfm retain .

2010-05-12T22:06:00.002+08:00

Back to blogging after dunno how many human years.

Was busy with mid year exams.

Busy mugging for certain papers.

mugged like hell. First paper is English and social studies.

Mugged for social studies, but not english paper 1.

Met Jeremy elain and Doph at Bedok Reservoir study.

Next few papers, i think is geography.

Over the weekend, met elain and Doph study at LJS .

Study abit. Cos totally no mood due to some things though .

Went home, and then continued mugging. Sleep, wake up at 5am

and mug again =_= went school like damn early just to mug for geog.

Physics and Chem, revised abit. Cos Chem teacher always not here, and sometimes

she talk alien language.

Textbook doesn't help though.

Physics, teacher gave us notes, easier to revise.

Chinese Paper 1 and 2 quite tricky.

English paper 2 is damn tricky.

Maths 1 is okay.

Maths 2 totally cmi. cos got test until last time topics, which i never learn. tsk.

This few days slack with Doph, Jeremy and alien. Not to forget, Zicong also.

Haha. Had great fun with them, crapping and talking rubbish, doing stupid things,

and of course, bitching. Haha.

Now looking forward to window gang outing. (:

During my mugging period, Baby been real understanding.

He never requested to meet me at outside, but rather, come up my house pei me. (:

Love him TTM. !

I'm really happy by the fact that he clicked well with my classmates too.

He even helped ZiCong buy ciggy. Mwahahaha.

Paid my HSA fine le. Finally a big load off my heart. say bye bye to $30 bucks.

Luckily is not $500 la. Heng ah .

Next important is , to renew baby's passport to go genting,

and to earn more money.

REALLY looking forward to it manszxc.

Mwahaha. Been cutting down on Kbox, movies, shopping, LAN , going out, slacking, and other whatsnot. Feel like going SummerBreeze someday.

P/s saving to book chalet for Baby's birthday (:

Didi's been real nice to me.

I'm so fortunate that i have such a wonderful family.

Though we quarrel at times, though sometimes words they say very hurting, but

we are still family, and at the end, it's what kept us close. Cheerios!

2010-04-27T23:56:00.003+08:00

Wanted to blog about my feelings. But then scared someone sabo again,
then got trouble.

No privacy at ALL.

Okay Well.
Today went school and found out that my table was overturned and
alot newspapers.

Best part is, teacher still ignored our complains.

Nvm, we cleared and sweeped the floor.

End up , after recess, teacher still ask us sweep again,
cos another side of the class still dirty,
because morning that side de people donwan sweep. and litter.

Freaking unfair.

I don't want trouble in school.
But why are there so many childish people creating troubles ?

From start, we only voiced that we wanted a change of chairman.
Did we even mention the word "fight" ?

Stop stuffing words into our mouth that we want to fight.
Yes, i did ask her to come talk to me.
But did i mention that it's a settlement talk ?
NO.

I just want settle everything amicably.
Just communicate and sort everything out,
rather than doing things behind our back,
stuffing words into our mouth, and
make us the bad guys.
Stop pointing fingers.
Once problem arises ,
solve it.

So many times i suggested things to her, to teachers.
But did they do anything?
No.

Go and ask the whole class about her then.
Stop accusing us of ganging up and bully her.
She refused to talk to us, refused to accept
our suggestions. What can we do?
Talk to teachers , end up we're bullying her.

God. Can't be a majority of the class bullying her?
Then why she ask others to take attendance when its her duty.?

I shall stop here.
Stop everything.
Unhappy, settle amicably. That's all.

Stop being childish and say fight fight. =_= LAME.

2010-04-27T22:25:00.004+08:00

Helllo Helllo..
Check Check.. Can everyone hear me ?
A? D? ZC?
Hahah... Im not Jasmine..

It will be at least 10X more than

you did.

LASTLY..... K@NI@PU@ CHEESE BYE BYE ! :)

2010-04-26T17:48:00.003+08:00

I actually typed a long post but backspaced it one by one.

Because, there's no need to say so much already.
Few words.
In school, i feel that only the leaders, the more well-behaved students' voices are heard.
Not ours.
Biased.

2010-04-14T15:42:00.006+08:00

Baby removed my tagboard already.
I'm uber sorry DOG,
go elsewhere and bark!

♥ School

Tuesday Morning assembly at hall,
hear student ldrs talk cock.
Lame lehs.
Act like taiwanese elections . -.-
PE, see people take their 2.4 run. I no need run.
After PE, maths. Surprised to see
Mrs Ong back in school already!
But her right hand fingers are still hurt!
So poor thing.
Lucky it's her fingers that's hurt,
not her brains! If not she can't teach.
Get well soon (:

Wednesday.
Received info chua-ong will be relieving
our class instead of Lukman.
Told Elain, siyin. End up siyin say mai go school -.-
Went school then saw her. Haha!
Her boyf make her come!
VE lessons, Elain and Daph played some
stupid games like passing the stickers -.-
Me and Siyin poor thing, sit in middle.
Some unhappiness happened cos of
the class behind us.
They're supposed to move
backwards, but they take their
own sweet time. Nvm, end up,
move back le, they kb say
no space -.- ask us move infront again zzz.
But our class is in the middle of two classes.
Not we mai move, but they mai move what. =.=
Then got one guy kbkb -.-
C-H-I-L-D-I-S-H.
Physics, slacking lesson.
Maths, teacher was talking all
about the formulae which relief
teacher taught.
Behind time because of the class. -.-
English, Zicong did the stupid birdy
noise and irritate Mr Mak.
And the girls was going :
- Yr bird is hungry , feed it.
- Yr bird wants freedom, free it.
- Yr bird wants to escape, cage it.

Mr Mak's Version :
♥ Please Respect The Birds.
♥ Mr Mok would love to catch and cage that bird!

Laughs!
Art, wanted go sickbay, cos wasnt feeling well.
Dizzy again.
During English, already dizzy and no strength. ):
But teacher asked me to rest in class.
So slept for like one period.
HAHA. SHIOK.
Friday, Geog test.
I must score well this time!
Mwahahaha! Now wanting to book chalet via internet. The webpage keep crash!. NB.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Tuesday,
Baby fetched me after school. :D
Then went to my house and slacked,
played comp, talk cock and whatsnot. :D
Was jealous because Baby's attention wasn't on me,
but on another girl.
But no choice.
Someone A and someone B's relationship is
getting colder and colder, is it really 'cos of me?
I really wonder. Baby and Someone A
reassured me that it's never,
and not my fault.
But i really don't know the exact reason.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Really missed Peanut at times. Though so,
i still refused to contact back him
for the fact that he
never contacted me as well.
It goes to show how
much i mean to him,
and he's only contacting me 'cos of her.
Whatever.
If there's a chance,
i really would love to meet him and
talk cock one day,
Just for a day. );
Wonder how's he doing,
but i guess he's just fine :D

♥ ♥ ♥ Everything is changing,
everyone is.
Someone whom you once knew so closely,
changed to someone you would never expect to see.
Some one who's never taken to smoking,
started smoking.
Someone who always think logically,
started to deceive deceitfully.
I just don't understand.
I was never the centre of attention,
and i never want to be.
I tried my best to cherish everything,
give in,
but it's just not about someone giving in or not.

It is a curious sensation:
the sort of pain that goes
mercifully beyond our
powers of feeling.
When your heart is broken,
your boats are burned:
nothing matters any more.
It is the end of
happiness and the
beginning of peace.

2010-04-12T15:10:00.000+08:00

Can never explain the disappointment i feel inside.
Why the inferiority?
Why the superiority?
What makes you more superior than me,
that i have to just swallow everything. ?
Even baby don't understand.

Feel so bad deep inside.
Wanting to cry.

2010-04-11T20:50:00.002+08:00

Baby tml school reopen lorhs!

Yep, school reopen means...

- Less time for me ; more time in school
- Less time to meet
- Less time to go out
- Less time for sleepovers ):

But will still support you, Baby ♥ !
Because i know we will work hard together and achieve good grades together,
Reach our aims together, and build a happy future together!

Jiayous okay, Baby ♥ ?
You've proved many people wrong about you by achieving good grades,
Stay that way!

Mwarks!
Loves,
Minmin♥

2010-04-10T18:02:00.002+08:00

So long no blog
Ok, these few weeks, been in school faithfully.
Wednesday went to clinic to see doctor, and doctor said that i've got not enough blood,
that cause my frequent dizziness. Since 6years old, in and outta hospital, tests here tests there, of course not enough le luhs! Hahah!

Friday took back SS test.
Got full marks.
HAHAHA!

As promised, if i did well, Huat and Baby will bring me out to play!
But yet wasn't feeling well along the way too. ):
Killed alot zombies during our L4D match.
Mwahahaha! Hack those zombies to death!
After that, want go toilet, the toilets so dark ):
Scared me luhs! Cos i hacked alot zombies to death earlier on :x
HAHA

The boys make up alot nicks for me! darned!
Had a very special friend, whom i never met before, and
our "unusual" relationship could hang on so long. That's the difference between true friends
or not.
Very disappointed. It's not like i never asked you out okay. You make it so hard to
be there for you.

If only i could unturn the hands of time,
but now, just hope that everything is fine.

2010-03-26T22:26:00.002+08:00

Wednesday and Thursday sucks. Cos of Art.
Wednesday Siyin came to school, but thursday she wasnt here.
Sian-ed half le.

Thursday after school, Baby came and fetch me. This time, he wasn't late :D
Waited for bus at bus-stop, and Zc and his bros were there also. Talked cock and he made fun of me. Then, he jio-ed me go smoke. Funny luhs! He jio me go smoke, he should spon me mahs! End up Baby spon. Act cute sia!

After that, went to Tampines mall and bought Crispy chicken. Then it rained. Went to Pasir Ris eat lunch. Lame luhs! Go Tm buy one thing nia -.-

Home, and Baby was so attracted to the PS and he tonn-ed -.-

Friday, Went school despite feeling unwell. I think i had a minor asthma relapse thursday night.
Can't breathe, chest tightness, gasping for breaths and chest pains, dizziness also -.-
Nevertheless i still went school.

Went school and didn't see Siyin. Thought she no come again. End up is her PUK blocked.
Recess, called up StarHub but still have to go down there and do. She going HQ and i hope her case will be closed!

After school, walked home and then , while waiting for mummy for lunch, i fell asleep. -.-
Sleep dao 7pm and wake up, no dinner no lunch -.-
Mummy 9plus come back and tell me Huat was here. I was like shocked. I so pig. Sorry Huat T_T

Baby didn't contact me until just now. ): Kinda feel neglected already.

Tomorrow Sports Meet. Sian luhs!
100% Unhappy for school events held on Weekends.
KNN, teachers still give homework. FUCK LUHS! -'-
Still want us to revise, how can we rest sia?
Want stress die us uh!?
After Sports Meet meeting Huat to mug, since he live nearby. *winks*
MinMin's Private 1-1 tutor! ♥
Maybe meeting Baby also?!
Mwahahahaha!

Wanna go K ):

WithLoves♥
MinMin 26032010 ♥

2010-03-22T23:17:00.003+08:00

Today, First day of school after the holidays.

Reluctantly went to school with a quite heavy schoolbag,
And heavy mood.
Had a restless night before and i don't know why.

Went school and remembered Si Yin not coming :/

And, Daphne and Elain wasn't there. =.=

And i thought all skip school together.

Physics, Geog and MT, lessons as usual.
Maths, English, and Social Studies. 3 teachers not here.
Some say Mak on re-service. And Rachael Ong on long term leave
due to maternity purposes i suppose. :/

Was joking and having fun during those 3 free periods.
Smoked with ZC and Daphne after recess.
Went staffroom to look for Lukman and he jitao gin me -.-
Whatever ~

Went home, had lunch with Daddy mummy Huaterella and Baby. Nice nice!
Rot at my home after that.

Dinner, was deliciously prepared by Mummy! (L)
Then had dinner, cracked jokes, and Baby, Huat and DiDi
sabo-ed each other to finish the rest of the food!

Played poker, and earned some money for ciggy :D
After that, sent Huaterella to bus stop.
AND AND AND !

Baby is tonn-ing tonight ! (Yeah-ness)
I almost cried when he agreed to!
Sososo HAPPY tooday, since Huat is here to pei me,
though no talk much,
Baby is here, through out the night, and BABY HAD FUN WITH HUAT TOO!
Mwahahahaha! Today good mood, so tml school is a MUST !

*Prove Baby wrong that i'll ~~not~~ skip school when he tonn over*

With loves,
Minmin

♥

.
22/03/2010 Monday

2010-03-19T00:42:00.000+08:00

Had some unhappiness with baby recently. I cried alot that 2 days. Until i cannot take it anymore, called him down to talk. I don't udstnd what's he's thinking. But end up, he don't bear to see me cry, and we clarified all misunderstandings. Glad that it's over.

Wednesday went to sing post do homework with classmates. But totally no mood. So quickly finish and went e!hub with Elain, Daphne si yin zc and met baby too. Had nice time singing. After that, dinner and home. Saturday outing again. I do hope baby comes too! T_T and, i wanna go gym! Maybe Sunday!

2010-03-15T18:23:00.002+08:00

Went to EAC to work during the weekends. Was alright, easy to cope since i worked there for 9 months before. But still, was tired and hurt my palms and fingers due to the soaking of water and carrying heavy blenders. Earned $100+ for my next checkup.

Had a little unhappiness with Baby. And what i can say is, everyone needs friends. I've stood by you for a full 3years. I gave you everything that i could, what did i get in return?!

No use pointing fingers. You asked me how i want you to love me, pamper me. Does this things need to be taught? You know clearly yourself. I just want you to cherish me, treat me like your girlfriend instead of a younger sister. Surely you know the differences.

No point going chiong and grumble, saying you're useless.
I'm one exact example of grumbling and ended up nowhere in life.
I put my words into actions,
went back to school,
got relatively good grades.

Yes, put your words into actions. Love me like before. That's all i really wished for.
I did promise i will never leave you. Yes, trust me.

But, please do not take my promise for granted. Reciprocate my love, please. ):
I really want you to wake up, and make the best of our relationship.

I loved you, i really do.
But why is loving you making me so unhappy? T_T
Can you make me happier, please? Grow up, and learn to make your own decisions.
Think like an adult. We can talk things through.

Don't know how to express is not an excuse for keeping unhappiness to yourself,
let me misunderstand, and then is my fault -.-

I just hope everything can go smoothly for now.

2010-03-06T00:41:00.002+08:00

Baby been tonn-ing at my house since yesterday. My wishes came true. :D
Last night had a nice sleep. But was still tired cos i skipped my napping time to wait for Baby's arrival. Yet he go nap -.- Tsktsk!

Slept shortly after he arrived. Kupp money and bought Yari for Didi, his bdae gift in advance.

Tuesday and Wednesday was sicked, having flu, MC-ed from school, thus, skipped Camp.
Thursday went school, with Si yin and was rotting when doing Maths worksheet. Brought all my books end up 1 worksheet do for 4 hrs -.- Was released at 12 pm. Early. Met Baby after school and smoked. Sent me back home and daddy was at home. :D

Friday, Met Si yin at Bus stop. Was late. Sorry girl. She passed me a present, and i liked it a lot. thoughful girl, Thank you so very much! x3

Did science worksheet today. Chemistry, Physics and Bio. Slipshod do, and rot.
Went to smoke with Si Kai and his friend during recess. Went to the toilet in the field.
After that, went back class and met Si Yin.

The teachers brought us to the library after recess. We read books, sitting on the same table with Si Kai and friend. And so, we joked, laughed and disturbed each other.
After that, teacher release early at 11.55 and met baby outside my school. Home.

Night, after dinner, Katty and Huat came with a cake. Someone knocked on the door and when i looked at the peephole, no one. So i thought i'd open the door to look clearly, end up also no people. They really frightened me til i stone-ed siol. Then they popped out and say Happy Birthday. HAHA!

Cooked Maggie for Katty as she's hungry. They bought me a Tweety bolster. Although the tweety is ugly, but i appreciate and like it! Then they played cards until midnight.
Katty jio-ed me to Zentosa next week. HAHA. they went home aftermath.

Now blogging, Baby's bathing. Will be sleeping later on~

How i wish the days Baby tonn over at my house will never end.
I'm so addicted to this feeling. Like, I have a companion and will never be lonely again.!
However, good days are always shortlived. It's gonna end soon. Sobs. T_T

2010-02-26T22:18:00.000+08:00

I'm really sick and tired of being home everyday, have no one to talk to, except homework. I long for some companions. Daddy, work and sleep. Mummy, play computer work or out. Brother, worst. Computer with headset for the whole day. Me? Homework. Yes. Mai laugh. I talk to my homework. See how lonely i am? Even my closest one don't care. With my brother and mummy holding on to the com, i cannot even play! Like now, blogging thru my crystal.

Presents? I doubt I'll receive any. Never mind uhh. Hais. I'll go back and talk to my homework.

2010-02-26T21:46:00.000+08:00

Damn sian. Planned for a gathering with baby tml, maybe with nut to slack. Bigger part of the reason is to commemorate my birthday.

However, baby had asked along his brothers. To my house. To tonn. I shrugged at the idea. But baby had already broached the subject. I cannot say no what. Hais.

My house isn't that big, and, with another few not so close guys. Maybe, it's just another gathering for the brothers, with my birthday in name. Fuck.

Just yesterday, he ignored all my msg and calls, as he was with his brothers shopping at some high class shops for branded watch. I didn't know that yesterday. He didn't even say anything yesterday. I only found out today, when i saw the armani watch on his wrist.

I was obviously unhappy. It costs a fucking 400 plus. I mean, why can't we live a frugal and simple life, not going for branded stuffs and stop being materialistic ? I'm never one for these stuffs. To me, it's not much of a problem if 1, you're rich. 2, you don't have to worry a thing. For a guy like baby, still schooling ,not rich, but want to spend so much on one fucking watch. For me, just wearing a ten bucks watch is good enough.

Think.

We could have put the 400bucks to better use. Like, go kbox or movies. Oh! Speaking of that, he said he's going to bring me to wild wild wet. And he hasn't. 400 bucks. chalet, and our promised genting trip. This made me feel I'm more inferior to that fucking watch of yours. Promises? Always broken. So what's the point of "commemorating" my inferior birthday?

Asked baby to come my house just now. He refused to accompany me, though we're already under my block. He'd rather to slack under a block, in this heat, and a me, obviously perspiring, still in my uniform. This was after dinner. :/ and I'm still in my uniform. And he left after sending me to the lift lobby.

Yes, that sounds pretty alright. Yet, the prob was. Why did he want to tonn only with his brothers?! Or even refused to accompany me up? Monsters in my house? -.- he didn't explain.

2010-02-18T20:15:00.002+08:00

Went school as usual today.
Wasn't late. In fact, rather early.
During english was normal.
Chinese, got back my Paper 1 results.
39 + 43.5 = overall. Nice work.
Was very satisfied.
After that PE. They ran and ran and i watch and watch.
Recess as usual. Ate a bun and a bot of Green T.
♥♥
Chemistry, Mdm Chow was as per normal, screaming. :/
Got scolded by Mrs Ong during Maths lesson.
Alot people fell asleep, and some even never do the homework
examples teacher gave. Never do, jiu suan le,
teacher give us the working solutions, wrote on the board step by step
STIL don't want copy. Machiam remote control.
I seriously don't know why people can spend so much,
come all the way to Singapore to study,
Yet, doing this kinda thing, not wanting to excel. I mean, come Sg
is to learn English, maths, science, those you can't learn much back in yr country right ?! Yet what you're doing now is actually spending more time, paying more attention in Chinese, and give the
I-cant-be-bothered attitude for other subjects.
You all want to fail, so be it. I don't want to fail. Stop being a nuisance,
taking up the Teacher's time to keep walking over to yr table,
making you copy, and spend time scolding you. =_=

♥♥
Knn, fcuk th guy who suddenly go "BOOM" during maths class. I was so trying to understand the formula. You go "boom", well, i admit, i was frightened. You know how irritating it is anot?! Keep laugh and laugh so irritatingly. Funny mehs? Funny go Principal office share the joke luhs! Mai disturb me can?!
I diao-ed you, screen-ed you, gin-ed you so many times, you stil don't get the signal. Seriously, scolding you vulgarities was nothing. You must feel so fcuking glad. Knn. You fcuking irritate me again, i make sure the next one to kena "boom" is you. I fcuking make sure i will explode you, anyway you look like a nuclear bomb to me :/ It doesn't matter if this "nuclear bomb" i planted get to save the world, well, at least for mine. :D
♥♥

♥♥
After that, Art. Did some stupid paper cutting of the African mask or something. At least cutting is better than drawing :/
I used to be so good with Penknives, now, suddenly don't know how to use. =_=
But i still enjoyed this lesson. Only this though.
After school, went home.
♥♥♥♥
♥♥♥♥
Mummy went for mahjong session and i straight went home. Cooked instant noodles and watch shows. Been playing Bejeweled Blitz since.
Daddy returned home shortly after, and he, too, went for mahjong session. :/
Left alone at home. Bored, called Baby♥.
He say, not able to meet me today.
♥♥
Yesterday, went movie with Baby♥.
Percy Jackson and the Lightning thief. Damn nice. ♥♥♥♥
Baby♥ was very nice to me last night too.
Enjoyed the whole date yesterday.
Maybe that's the whole lot why i missed him so much.
♥♥
Nevertheless, went back to Bejeweled Blitz again ._.
♥♥
Did some homework, and called Baby♥ again some 3 hours later.
Shocked to know that he with Sam.
I was not unhappy, of course, since we'll be meeting tml for
Uncle Ringo!
But then he told me something that he wanted to do to help
Sam, not me.
All and all, He still treats his brothers best.
Disappointed.
When will he treat me like his life?
Never will. I'm so sick and tired of all these.
Trust me, i really felt like leaving you.
Nobody is there for me, when i felt like giving up,
when i felt like crying, when i felt like so much i did,
achieved nothing. No one. I really need some love and concern from someone who really care.

I don't know why am i still holding on.
Maybe it's because of all those times we've spent together.
3 and a half years le. I still can't make it to be the number1 in your heart.

I'm so tired already. I don't know what else i can do, what i did if it's right or wrong.
It's so hard to control my temper already. And i really don't know what else i can do to impress you further. Maybe, i should stop once and for all. Give up already.

Today, if i weren't controlling, the guy who irritated me in class, wouldn't have been just like this. Hen lei !

2010-02-17T15:05:00.002+08:00

River Flows in you - Ft Anna Manda.

Tears flowing down my cheek
Tearing me up as I think
Of what could have been

My Ben'nJerrys melting
Falling apart like me
Dripping down insinuating

What if things had been different
What if we'd kept it light
What if I could hold you
I wish you'd never lied

I remember clearly you saying
You and me forever
Though I'm still praying

I wanted it to last so desperately
I lost sight of all else
And it ended so abruptly

What if things had been different
What if we'd kept it light
What if I could hold you
I wish you'd never lied

I got dealt a hand
Not in my favor
Not what I had planned
Not what I had hoped for

What if things had been different
What if we'd kept it light
What if I could hold you
I wish you'd never lied

2010-02-17T12:45:00.002+08:00

Took back my Chem and Chinese results.
Not bad not bad. Didn't really study for Chem and Chinese.
Chem = 13/20
Chinese 43.5/50 (somewhere there :P)
♥
Eve of CNY went bedok eat with my mother's side de uncles and grandparents.
After that, played with the doggie and had some wine.
Drink abit and i felt sleepy. So went home and sleep.
♥♥

♥CNY DAY 1 ♥

Went to Gugu's house to bai nian with her.
Ah miao, Angel, ah bee and candy all there.
Saw Ah bee's youngest daughter for the first time.
Big round eyes! Cute!
But she cries. :x
After that, went to Candy's house to meet up with her mom and dad.
Tian ci kor kor drove his friend's car. Dangerous!
I was in another car though !
Saw Katty and her parents, sisters in their family car.
They drove us back to her house.
♥

♥At katty's house♥

Reached and saw a whole lot of slippers. Damn alot people.
After all arrived, me and katty went down smoke.
Mom, gugu and ah bee's husband came down too, to buy drinks.
So chatted awhile, and went up.
Tian ci kor kor and co arrived later, and went off soon.
Katty went Ham kor kor hse to bai nian.
Me = rotting away, as gambling is not my cup of tea. :/
♥
After that Katty returned with ham kor kor ,
And katty duped him into drinking Bailey. Damn funny.
Went down to smoke with Ham kor kor and candy arrived.
Tian ci kor kor and angel left soon after.
♥
Me katty and Candy went up, they gambled and i watched tv.
After dinner, we went smoking, and went into katty room to camwhore.
Took stupid photos and had fun!
Left after that. Decided on the car that we should catch a movie with Katty tml!

♥CNY DAY 2♥

Met Candy at her house at 10am. She told me MUST reach by 10.
Took a taxi as i scared i was late.
Reached there, she sleeping. =_=
Then hopped on ah bee's car to Pasir ris, boon keong's house.
Reached there, bai nian, and eat.
Smoke, and left the house for Bishan.
Something unhappy happened. ><
♥
Candy took taxi over alone.
Met her there, and we sat at the void deck, smoking, waiting for angel and tian ci kor kor.
Went up, and we were like transparent.
Left 5mins later.
Went to j8 and wanted to watch movie. Not much movie though. So dropped the thought.
Katty says she met us at 6+.
Went to grab a bite, and went down to e!hub since we thought of Kbox.
But, rooms fully booked too.
Almost vomitted cos the taxi uncle drove too fast.
♥Checked at Cathay and also, no movies, no seats.
Went Funky balls to play pool. Katty arrived and brought Darren. .__.
Then she sent darren home around 7.
We went to eat and was shocked at the prices. One cup Bandung $2.50!
One small plate fried rice $5 ! =_=
Then went to slack, and the war started. Angel started crying. Poor her!
Really wanted to hug her! Bought tissue paper for her.
After that, went to SummerBreeze and Katty arrived around 10.45.
They ordered a bucket of carlsberg, and as usual, i only drank Breezer with straw.
Drank and talked cock.

Upon finishing half a bottle, i wanted to fall asleep. :x
Same as the rest and we went home. Dropped Katty and followed by me.
Sleeeeep!
♥
♥
♥
This yr CNY, angbaos not so many. Maybe due to the econimic downturn?!
Laughs. Nevermind. At least it's still something gained.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
Sometimes in life, things don't go smoothly. If we were to bear a grudge on EVERY single thing, every little thing someone does to bring you down, we will be very busy and tired.
No use bearing grudges. Even sisters. It's how we feel and think that affect our actions. We don't have to care how others' think. Like me, people 17 graduate from Sec. I stil sec 3. It's what we wanna achieve rather than what others' think. People look down on you? Brush it off and smile. They're wasting time to criticise you, and you're spending time doing something useful. Yes, we may be sad. Like what Angel says, no one will forever be lucky or suay. Provided that the person be kind in both words and actions. Cherish what you have, and don't go compare. They lead their life, and you lead yours. Be contented. Happy and peaceful jiu hao. :D And Angel is doing this very well. After so many years, she still can carry a smile. I think everytime new year coming, she will be very paranoid. HAHA. But luckily, tian ci kor kor dote on her, don't bear people to hurt her, and he also changed his temper for the better. Wish them all the best in life!
♥♥♥♥♥♥
♥♥♥♥♥♥
Baby told me on Friday that he is going to be very busy throughout CNY. I was disappointed. Cos it sounds like he had NO time for me. ._.
But used to it le, so i just said yes.
I went out with Candy and co during CNY, and surprisingly, Baby was bored. At night, he went with his Khaki to drink.
I missed him alot. I'm going to have my own group of friends like he do.
Yes, i can sense he felt left out when i went out and left him at home.
That's how i felt everytime. But i got over it already. I hope he understands how i feel,
when in my shoes. I only want him to have the confidence in himself and me. Let me know other people, have my own friends, rather than fearing me kena cheated. I must grow up and face this someday. I, too have the psychological barrier of trusting other people. But, this doesn't help in whatever i do. I have to learn.
♥♥♥
Foxy msn-ed me and asked me meet up. AS USUAL, i rejected him again.
He called.! Muthafcuker. I kupp and he msn me, asked me why i never pick up.
I answered, I got say will pick up yr call mehs?!
Then he asked if i want meet, i say, no.
Then he jitao : Whatever la.
WTF ? =_= Guys nowadays really very funny. I wished i can slap him in the face.
Yesteday he also talked to me, asking me wanna meet anot, what can give him a chance to make friend with him blah. I say, Let nature take it's course. Today he ask again. I think he craving for sex. Well, i'm just not that type of girl. Fcuk off luhs!

2010-02-10T18:28:00.003+08:00

♥
Went for CCA today. Contemporary Dance.
Gah. I liked it luhs!
Can say it's like,
yoga-gymnastic with rhythm and music :D
Some dancers dance real chio man.
Thumbs up!
♥
Some people really ARE flexible.
Maybe they're young?
Me this old lady, cmi luhs! -'-
I wished i can turn back the hands of time,
few yrs ago, to start training my flexibility. :/
♥
Tests, tests and more tests.
Apart from my Social studies,
the rest, i barely made it.
Disappointed with myself.
Judging from the hard work,
die-hard revisions i put in,
This isn't what i want to achieve.
♥
Maths - 11/20 ( Lucky ! )
Physics - 21/30 ( Stupid careless mistake )
♥
Chem, chinese and
all e rest coming up.
♥
CNY coming yeah.
Apart from angpows that we're
all expecting to receive,
we received one early gift today.
HOMEWORK.
♥
Fuck sia.
Give us homework to do for CNY.
Like, we no relatives like that.
Give one page,
nevermind.
Knn, give 12PAGE sia.
♥
Fill in the blanks - nevermind.
DO WHAT STUPID
REPHRASE FROM
NEWSPAPER EXTRACT SIA!
-'-
♥
Today heard from classmate, Si yin that,
one stainless steel tongue stud costs $100+ ?!
Aye!
I bought like less than $10.
Somemore, Queenstown less than $5.
Super cheap. Don't get cheated.
Maybe i don't know luhs,
but the stud i using quite good what.
You buy a stud $100 plus,
you're not gonna use for a life time right ?!
(P/s : I lose my stud very oftennnn! T_T And
so 1 stud can lasts me very short while nia.
No point, right?)
♥ Aiming for luminous tongue stud nowww ♥
♥
♥
Baby♥ fetched me after my contemp today.
Sweetboy! He bought me my contact lens case.
Tweety bird somemore!
CUTEEE die!
Really missed times spent with him,
talking about everything under the skies.
But then i know,
Baby♥ and me both are busy with school.
♥
I'm sososososo GLAD that
that foxy stopped harassing me.
Seriously, which girl can tahan a guy keep saying
" I got money, i want which girl also can" ?!
Which has a hint of -
ALL girls go for money.
Fcuk ehs. If he continues,
i'm really not sure what i will do.
Don't push me. I can be nice♥ .
But also nasty if you want me to. (:
♥
♥
♥
Ytd, Ah soon called and asked me to help fetch Bobo from childcare.
Superly tired, and stil, homework undone.
Went down too. I can't bear to leave
Bobo unattended to.
She's my niece too. T_T
Poor girl.
Brought her to shop at bedok.
Bought her a pair of shoes, and a dress.
Brought her to my home and let her eat
dinner with us. Chiong-ed homework after dinner.
♥
♥
♥
Valentine's coming up.
But, didn't plan to celebrate with Baby♥.
Nope,
not disappointed.
Always been like that. (:
It's a burden to celebrate
every occasion and every month
on our anniversary.
♥
♥
♥
Yes, i love him.
But Love doesn't really mean holding on.
I chose to let go,
and if he comes back,
then it's meant to be. (:
I love freedom,
and i don't want to neglect
my studies because meeting him, never do
homework, blahblah.
♥
♥
♥
I went back to school,
because i wanted to achieve.
I don't want to waste anymore time.
I'm an old lady already!
He understands it.
And that makes me love him even more♥
♥
♥
♥
Chemistry between us
cannot be underestimated.
Sometimes, he knows how i feel even when
there's dead silence.
♥
Except for those stupid things
he does, and his slowness. Cute(:
♥
Sorry for this wordy post. Because i haven't been posting.
♥
FAILING ART terribly. Yes, i'm not artistic. (:

2010-02-05T14:19:00.003+08:00

Got FULL marks for Social Studies, on some topics that i missed when i entered the school.
WOOO! Shiok ahs ! :x
The teacher photocopied my essay and gave it to every NA class of my standard,
instead of typing and printing.
Argh! My horrendous handwriting!
Only 25 minutes to chiong everything, how to write slowly and nicely ?! GAH!

The teacher was so impressed with me, and i'm pleased with myself! I shall reward myself with... SOMETHING! <3

2010-01-28T17:42:00.004+08:00

Today, MinMin share with you an illness that has been with me since i was 6 -.-!

Hyperthyroidism is a condition caused by the effects of too much thyroid hormone on tissues of the body.

Although there are several causes of hyperthyroidism,
most of the symptoms patients experience
are the same regardless of the cause
(see the list of symptoms below).

Because the body's metabolism is increased,

patients often feel hotter than those around them(If my skin feels hot, don't ask me if i'm werewolf -.-)

and can slowly lose weight

even though they may be eating more.

The weight issue is confusing sometimes

since some patients actually gain weight because of an increase in their appetite.

Patients with hyperthyroidism usually experience

fatigue at the end of the day, but have trouble sleeping.

Trembling of the hands and a

hard or irregular heartbeat (called palpitations) may develop.

These individuals may become irritable and easily upset.

When hyperthyroidism is severe, patients can suffer

shortness of breath,

chest pain, and

muscle weakness.

Usually the symptoms of hyperthyroidism are so gradual in their onset that

patients don't realize the symptoms until they become more severe.

This means the symptoms may continue for weeks or months before patients fully realize that they are sick.

In older people, some or all of the typical symptoms of hyperthyroidism may be absent, and the patient may just lose weight or become depressed.

Common symptoms and signs of hyperthyroidism

Palpitations ✔
Heat intolerance ✔
Nervousness ✗
Insomnia ✔
Breathlessness ✔
Increased bowel movements ✗
Light or absent menstrual periods ✔
Fatigue ✔ ✔
Fast heart rate ✔ ✔
Trembling hands
Weight loss ✗
Muscle weakness ✔ ✔
Warm moist skin ✔
Hair loss ✔ ✔
Staring gaze ✔

Hard for me eh?!

In women who are not pregnant, hyperthyroidism can affect menstrual periods, making them irregular, lighter, or disappear altogether.

It may be harder for hyperthyroid women to become pregnant, and they are more likely to have miscarriages.

It is very important that hyperthyroidism be controlled in pregnant women since the risks of miscarriage or birth defects are much higher without therapy.

Fortunately, there are effective treatments available. Antithyroid medications cut down the thyroid gland's overproduction of hormones
(That means, my baby won be a freak u uneducated arse!)

(...AND...)
Rarely, a baby may be born without a thyroid gland.
This birth defect is not caused by thyroid problems in the mother.

If an infant's hypothyroidism is not recognized and treated promptly, he/she will not develop normally.

Therefore, all newborn babies in the United States routinely have a blood test to be sure that hypothyroidism is diagnosed and treated.
Most thyroid medications will have no effect on the baby.
The exception to this generality is the administration of radioactive iodine to the mother during pregnancy. Radioactive iodine can cross the placenta and it can destroy thyroid cells in the fetus.

http://www.endocrineweb.com/hyper1.html

2010-01-19T21:52:00.002+08:00

I don't know if returning to study was a wrong.
Spent so much, and i know the money will never
be enough! Hais.
Fell sick, and didi was sick also. Was damn worried,
cos his fever won't go away! Had to go to hospital. T_T
I'm trying very very hard to get used to school life,
and then work asap, so as to not burden my parents.

And baby also. Pocket money is never enough for him to spend.
Stupid. Take money from own dad like applying to government. -.-
It's a fact, and i'm saying out loud without holding back.
You pay back in your own coin. (: Karma is EVERYWHERE.

Texted Ann last night, clarified things.
Have to admit, i was angered by her post,
But school helped me tolerate my temper (:
So i texted her, and settled (:
Some things, i still don't understand.
What is one failed cyber-love compared to
what others is facing out there?
The haiti earthquake?!

Forgiveness is a virtue,
and i don't think he owe you anything.
He's done nothing wrong, for crying out loud!
Yes, 2 yrs back, we patched back, and we never told anyone.
2yrs later, we broke up, but we still behaved like we never.
So what IS the point of telling everyone we patched back,
made another mess, and caused cyber couples to break as well ?!

Don't make it sound like your world is collapsing.
A nice saying : Love is like a game, if you can't afford to lose, Then
don't play with it.

Hais. Wanted to help, yet kena scold, resulting i'm the "bad guy".
Innocent die.

- Zax Loh, you this -'- tard. NARB.
Why must i reply to your messages/calls?!
Who are you to me man?!
You say you got $$ can get lots of girls,
WELL, fine! I'm not this kinda girls,
And don't think EVERY girl is like that.
I guess you're abit lost.
Army supposed to train you in topo right ?! Even in school,
Geog also got topo! Still say you got study!
How come so lost, come dao FB?!
Should go Geylang look for yr kinda girls lehs! -'- luhs! Ball-less!
Say i study halfway dropout, can't even complete Secondary school,
What about you?! Completed, yet English confirm fail,
And geog also never study properly.

Don't want reply don't give anyhow give people my mail/number?!
-Firstly, did MSN says, never reply cannot have MSN mail?! If that was the case,
MSN toh already la Bodoh! Elements of business also never study properly!
Oops! I think that links better to COMMON SENSE!
-Secondly, is YOU yourself give me your number, and pester me to text you de eh. Refresh your memory pleasee! Yep, i did say will sms you, but did i even mention will reply to your texts/ pickup yr calls?! Check your eyesight !

How come my life so many UNEDUCATED ARSE ?! Shit man!
Grrr :x i damn irritated now.

Didi is so sicked that he has to go hospital! How to pay !? No money T____T
*havetoworkhavetoworkhavetoworkhavetoworkhavetowork!*
Didi never sign out from his msn.
And so, this guy, his friend, msn him "CB"
WHOA. First word jiu CB.
So i was VERY interested in CB what.
Here it goes.

Him: CB
Me: what sia -.-
Him: say meet us 7am in the end never come
Me: Sick right?
Him: Sick sure bo?
Me: (he succeeded in pissing me off) Knn! My brother so sick until
now must go hospital, you tell me sure bo. You don bo here cb there with me la hor -'- I his sister
Him: -blahblah- ps la

Nabei siol. What kinda friends is this ?!
What a world!

2010-01-19T00:22:00.002+08:00

Woooot! First day of schooooool~
Schooool is not soooo terrible after all.
After all those intensive revision i did at home,
It doesn't really help though :\
It's just a revision of what i did at sec 2.
School is not bad after all.
The teachers are some-what nice,
I can't say for certain,
And the school timings are not so tiring.
Every lesson for a short 40minute.

No kena bully :D I managed to control my temper. :D
*proud of myself*

School counsellor asked me, if i'm the same as 2 yrs ago,
the same rebellious and defiant me.
I told her, No, i'm certain because, when you lose somethings, (obviously you regretted) and you
want to get it back,
You'll cherish this chance more than anything else.

Daddy bought me a new phone, and he told me he was happy that i went back
to school.

After school, went to clinic to meet them.
I was sick, of course. For the past 3 days T_T
Daddy and mummy kept asking if school was okay,
Was it fine, did anyone bully me, etc.

Ha. Feel like a primary school kid to them. :D
Nevertheless, took medicine, went for nap.
And i woke up at 12am. WOOT!

Went someone's blog.
I wasn't sure what i did was right or wrong. Her friend thought that me
or JUNJIE spammed her blog. But we didn't =.=
Then i took the effort to CLARIFY POLITELY in her blog.
What i took back was, GUAI-LAN-NESS.
NBCB.
And poor JUNJIE kept kena scolded.
She told me that was her blog, and she can tag/write anything there,
Well, of course, no doubt.
So if people spamm your blog, ask your friends don't come doubt us la. =.=
I'm like, trying to clarify, to forget the bad blood between us, then YOU,
showing me HOW guailan you can be.
Wonderful.
this is my blog, i tag how i wan. u wan sue me for tagging in my own blog? i wan guai lan at my blog, i wan write wat is my prob. dun like to see then dun read. no one use gun force u to read. and i said le, i dun wanna see any of ur name here agn. u mind ur own business i mind mine. u and ur boyfren can stop interfering with my life. and stop viewing my blog. i dun nid comment from ppl tat arent even my fren so leave. thank you!

WTF right? What i did is just clarifiacation nia. And i thought i can be nice to her too. But,
Not all kind deeds can get kind endings also. And i thought i was polite already. AND I even used the word "ps" leys. NARB LA.

2010-01-14T00:45:00.001+08:00

Hmmm, went to McPherson sec this morning.
Met with the principal, and well, she's quite nice.
At least better than the indian one. :x

She's decided to give me a month probation, in which i can't break
any of those damned rules. If not, i'll be out. =.=

WHATEVER. At least i got to study.
Just do what i wanted to, and be more careful and all.

Now damnnnn nervous. Monday starting school.
Bought my bag and pencilcase at Bedok Inter's pasar malam.

I lovieeee my bagggg.

Oh well. I forgot i am 17 now, and so i chose one with cartoon character.
One of my favourite cartoon character.

Baby says, if i can get straight A's, he's gonna give me a nice pressie.
I know it's hard, but i have to try, right?
Even if i didn't meet his requirements, i still will be close to it.

And my motivation. I must do better than 17 for 6 :D
I will try.
Will not be working until i can catch up.
I do hope the weeeeee sum of money in my bank can last me
long enough.
Or rather, my tiny brain is working fast enough.

Can't sleep. Again. ):

2010-01-10T22:13:00.002+08:00

Damn shag. Don't wish to elaborate why.
Again, i repeat. If you can't speak without hurting others', then jolly well tape yr mouth tight.
TIGHT.

NBCB, Uneducated ARSE!
To think you scold a girl like this. Isn't it too much already?
Then if me and Baby really got married, then the invitation card we put
" Happily married Ong Jun Jie & Prostitute "
Shame die you.
And oh, i will never forgive you. And i will never want your name on my wedding card.
I'm very firm on this.

Bully me one time, i forget it.
The second time, i will never forget.
FCUK YOU.
Oh. HA-HA,yr son's girlf is a prostitute.
Yr son friend also prostitute. My mind now cannot think straight.
NB.

There will be retribution de. Don't worry. I'll be watching.
Don't dare me again. I don't know what i will do.

Uneducated arsehole.

2010-01-09T02:29:00.005+08:00

Slept early this morning, and woke up at 1.30 to prepare for my game of badminton. Kat was supposed to be here. But yet she overslept.

So we continued without her. Overall was fun.

Went home, bathe, played audi awhile, and went to 526.
I went to Bedok inter to fetch Baby.

Baby was kinda awkward. I can see that. (:

Talked cock with candy and Kat. Then decided that we should continue tonight. Decided to go SummerBreeze and Daddy to go home. Well, he did.

We took 2 cabs down to Pasir Ris Park. Me, didi and Baby in a cab.
Well, i don't know why i am to be with the boys. -.-

Nevertheless, reached there, and summer breeze quite packed.
Settled for watercross instead. The drank, while i didn't. Didi drank too.
Desmond and Benson came over too. Was quite fun, and relaxing, of course.

Then, went out b'cos i needed to take a breather.
Baby was with me cos he stalked me. LOL
Went toilet, and we sat down and chat.
Talked about alot things, but mostly about the past.

Baby told me, it hurts him alot to see me in this state.
He hoped that i can look towards the future,
instead of getting my foot stuck in the past.
I cried. Terribly. I told him that i can't.
So much that i tried, for 2 years. How easy is it?
He told me, it hurts him to see the look in my eyes.
I've already tried my best. And he reassured that he will give me time, do it slowly.

Went back to the bar. And they caught me with my eyes still red.
Of course they asked. I told them the reason and they kept referring my baby to a "thing" .
WTF luhs. They told me to let go, like what baby said.
I told them its hard.

And the best part was, they told me to break up with baby,
cos everytime i look at him, i'll be reminded of it.
How wonderful. HA-HA =.=

I was angry and disappointed.
Truly. It's like, i've never got into your way of any relationship.
As if a break up will make me forget the baby.
It's just an excuse to make me break, right?

Then why talk about asking me to zhu fu yr relationship ?
You know how important is blessings, considered us so close.
Most importantly, you and him also quite close what. I don't understand.
You know clearly that if i wanted a break up, i will initiate it long ago.
Still can ask i scared i no people want meh ?
How am i the same as "her" ? Cling onto him cos scared no people want. =.=

I'm youngest, but i'm already 17. Can you please treat me like one?
Respect my feelings.
I brought my boyfriend to mend the relationship between him and my mom, you tell me to break up. =.=
Funny luhs.
It's like i'm trying so hard, people throw cold water.

Learning how to overcome the past is always better than
using the break-up-and-don-see-him-so-i-won-be-reminded method.

I just don't want to be an ostrich, hiding from the past anymore.
I'll just keep trying and trying.

From now onwards, i'll be sure that when i'm sad,
i only have myself. I don't have to explain to anyone.

Just be truthful to myself.
B'cos it doesn't help to have the closest people with you when you're down.
I'm utterly disappointed.

* This is just my feelings.

* I think i'm staying home tomorrow.
Moodless to go out.

"Falling in love is awfully simple, but falling out of love is simply awful."
“Sometimes I wish I were a little kid again, skinned knees are easier to fix than broken hearts.”

2010-01-08T04:52:00.002+08:00

Hmm. Nothing much happened today. But i just feel like updating.
I want somewhere where i can say everything OUT LOUD without anyone interfering.

Woke up at 2pm, breathless. Dizzy, and went back to sleep.
Woke at 5pm later.
Called and text-ed baby. No replies.
Went Fb, and audition.

Then went for dinner. Message baby quite a bit then.
He was telling me, how he chatted with Desmond,
about things like "What if i kena again ?"

Well i wasn't surprised. He have been talking babies these few days.
I thought well, Maybe Peanut's baby got his brains unwired. Hmmph!

At least it got mine.

Thinking about how nice it would be by now, when baby starts to talk nonsense.
Like, calling PAPA, BABA. LOL.
How nice it will be to enjoy family love. My own family that i started.

Missed him like everyday. Non-stop. I wouldn't stop missing him anyway.
I guess Baby was just dumping all his love and guilt for the lost one, on the next one.
I felt so, ridiculously angry.
Everyday.
Yeah.
Ridiculous = suddenly got mad.

Whenever i was left unoccupied, the scenes, the words, everything just kept reappearing.
I really can't stop hating. Yes.

I'm sorry. I just don't love you enough to forget everything. It seems now, i loved the lost one more.
I can do anything for you, but this. I've already faced everything you wanted me to face. With a smile. But deep inside, i still can't forgive. All this is so out.
Out of my way, my life, my habits, my personality. I ain't supposed to be like that.
Enough.

Went to CC to book badminton court. I guess i was just trying to overtire myself. To occupy myself.
Booked tomorrow 3-4pm. Katty is coming, and we'll be meeting Candy and Gugu for dinner.
I asked Baby to come along. He refused, at first. And i was angry. AGAIN. I felt like i tried my best for him, and he was unwilling to try. He asked me to do it slowly. And i was thinking, he never let me do it slowly either. It's not that im being calculative with my beloved. It's just that being sandwiched isn't a very good idea, for the long run. I loved my family, and i want to spend time with them. I loved my beloved and i want to spend time with him too.

Believe it or not, i'm starting to get my arse stuck-ed at home. If there's no need to, i'd really loved to stay at home, be alone. Nobody to bother me, nobody to explain to. There's no need to put a face full of smiles in front of everybody. I can just be truthful about my feelings. I don't have to lie.

Wennt audi, and someone told me that there is the Northlight sec that takes in dropouts like me. I'm excited and i'm going to try to get in. They offer ITE courses too. Hmmm, i am late for the admission and i emailed them. I seriously hope that they really can take me in.

I am really begining to feel that i need some help before i collapses. Some medicine or something.
To make me forget , make me happy. I guess i'm going to see a doctor soon enough. Cos i can't take it any longer.

Hais

2010-01-07T19:04:00.001+08:00